Oh, I had one when I worked for Planned Parenthood. The antis buy them in sets, because nothing changes a woman's mind like viewing someone's personal collection of rubber disembodied fetuses. I called him Lil' Fetus and he lived under my computer monitor. He'd bounce all over the place if you threw him hard enough. I…

"Part of being in a relationship is doing things the other person likes, even if you're not that into it. "

^^THIS. I am the Paul Bunyan in our relationship, and one year for Xmas, my husband went shopping with one of my very good friends in order to buy me clothes. That was... not the right move, actually. I felt humiliated and stupid and I don't think I ever once wore any of the things he bought.

I was trying to figure out if it was a little fetus eraser. The more mistakes you have to correct, the more the eraser gets worn down.

This is one area that I have worked on so much. It's taken me years to realize that love is acceptance. Clothes are a sticking point for me, not because I'm strict, but because I find it hard to let go of this longstanding attitude that women can and should change men. In my head I think to myself, "It's just a shirt!…

Yeah, does she think that "doesn't dress up a lot" also means he's not a functioning human being? Because her advice was not something that normal people in a healthy relationship should do.

I'm dating Paul Bunyon, we went to a dinner/show for his birthday with a dress code. I told him the dress code several times and he managed to put together the worst outfit ever because he didn't want to be warm. After we got there he felt self conscious and told me to tell him what to wear from now on during these…

Are we sure Fancy didn't mix up the dog advice and the boyfriend advice?

I admit that it was also my mother's tactic, so I am biased. It made me feel so embarrassed and angry, because I was capable of dressing up, but I never enjoyed it. I did it when necessary, and everyone made such a big deal about it that it felt more like punishment or humiliation than any kind of "reward".

Yeah, I really can't jive with the article's advice. I am from North of the border PNW and it's part of the culture. Sure, some people do get dressed to the nines, but there's virtually nowhere you can't go in outdoors attire. Relatively recently, I had a client tip me with a lovely dinner and drinks at a fine dining…

Right on - and I think this is sexist, too. If you reversed the genders and had a man treating a woman this way, I'd react with horror. It's not okay to infantilize and manipulate people. Just communicate. Tell the guy you'd like to do some fancy dress occasions occasionally. Either he'll do it or he won't, and the…

THANK YOU. Mr. Fentanyl lives in black t-shirts and black cargo pants. On the rare occasions when we go somewhere that requires more formal attire, I let him know. He can decide for himself what he wants to wear, and if he needs suggestions, he asks. I hate the manipulative "teehee, buy him a nice shirt, he won't even…

Yes! It is super infantilizing and sets up a really nasty dynamic when you try to manipulate your partner. Why be with someone if you can't rationally discuss an issue like this? It isn't even like, your parents are awful or I want us to start going to church or something tetchy, it's a COSTUME CHANGE.

"Part of being in a relationship is doing things the other person likes, even if you're not that into it."

Yea, that advice read very "sitcom" to me. You're a human, he's a human that you love. Address him as such and not a rescue ala LW2

Yeah, I was surprised by the advice she gave because I was expecting her to say something more like what you say here—that a woman in this situation should just nicely ask the guy to abide by the dress code.

As the resident Paul Bunyan in many of my relationships, please don't do that. It's pretty condescending and infantilizing. I'm on to people who do it, and it makes me feel manipulated, and honestly, rather angry.

no no no, your systematic oppression cannot POSSIBLY measure up to my momentary internet rage at reading a sentence. I mean it was like 15 whole words or something! On the onlines!!

Truth tea is delicious.

People's childhoods were ruined by warning about racism...