I have got to hand it to that teacher- she recognized that my friend was way beyond middle school literature, and while she probably debated calling home to discuss what she was reading with the mother, she ultimately let it slide because she could tell this girl was something special. This is a kid who read “Lolita”…

Rest in Peace. In the mid-80s, my best friend in middle school read all of these books- she got them from her mom, a divorcee who gave no fucks about what her kids read, was just happy they liked to read. I vividly remember my friend gleefully reading a passage from “Scruples” in English class before the teacher got…

The kinds of hotels Madonna stays at would absolutely have a way to get massage tables, sheets, humidifiers, whatever she wants. And they absolutely will charge her production company for the services, in addition to the items. It’s high-end hospitality, and if that’s how Madonna wants to spend her fortune, the hotels…

So ketchup. I am going to approve that. I don’t think that much about ketchup, but whenever I order food that goes with ketchup, like burgers and fries, and there is no ketchup, I would rather not even eat. I will wait for the ketchup. And Heinz is the only good ketchup. I don’t want your homemade ketchup.

Preach girl. I felt like my sister and my mom were daring me to pop off at them so they could say “see she’s a bridezilla!!” They really pushed my buttons and I still don’t understand why. I was trying to have things the way My husband and I wanted them, and they had a fucking problem with everything and thought my…

I am holding out hope that they will see Depp’s ridiculousness as a cautionary tale.

Team Neither. But you’re still right about her.

This is a great idea, and the kids really do like the 80s/90s right now, more than ever. Two summers ago I went on a business trip to Norway, and brought my tween back a Hard Rock shirt from Oslo. CAN YOU IMAGINE HAVING ONE OF THOSE IN 1990? I would have been so popular. My tween turned her nose up at it. Now that the…

If Blind Gossip is to be believed, and really, why wouldn’t you? The Pratts are already pregnant. Sex before marriage! Sinful!

I think Amy Adams is good. She’s in a lot of boring movies. Her SNL hosting and Office cameos were very funny. Maybe she should try to be a big fish in the small pond of TV? 

I hate myself for knowing this, but Aunt Becky’s family is from Nebraska. So they could very easily explain her absence as “she’s in Nebraska”. How many episodes do they even do of this?

right, and grocery store cake? Maybe they have been humbled by all this.

Gwen Stefani made his song better. Chew on that.

My 12 year old daughter, also a midwesterner, rides an Eddie Bauer bicycle, and it has brought her popularity beyond her wildest dreams.

Your investigative skills are excellent.

7th graders are not interested at all in this beef. I am so happy to be ignorant of the details and able to sit this one out. I am quite sure another kerfluffle will come along to take its place, but it won’t be this kerfluffle.

I think it would be really funny if she actually had to serve time, despite trying to play the part of a remorseful person. Aunt Becky is def. going down.

I am hoping this actually happens, as the whole point is that she tried to use her wealth and privilege for nefarious purposes and got caught. Martha took her punishment like a champ and was out by Christmas, with renewed street cred from Snoop Dogg. This could actually work out really interestingly for F. Huff.

Wouldn’t you love house arrest at Felicity Huffman’s house? I can’t even imagine the thread count on the sheets there.

I am going to guess that Muffman won’t actually serve time, because she has said all the right things and is acting remorseful, which goes a long way with other privileged white people. Even if she gets sentenced to 4 months, she won’t actually serve the whole 4 months.