Ivan Drago must have became self-reflective when he transitioned

So unfair for the Raptors to be in the Eastern Conference and have to play LeBron every year. They could have barely eked into the playoffs every year in the West instead and had zero expectations instead

Exactly, it’s satire whose underlying point seems to be that actually, they should have built around Jrue Holiday, Evan Turner, Thaddeus Young, Spencer Hawes, and Nick Young, their top five minutes guys pre-Hinkie under the age of 30. But Deadspin has to keep fucking this chicken for some reason

You sir have good taste in informercials.

What if the hitter then interferes with the catcher trying to throw the ball into the stands? Would he then get called out?

How dare you leave out Norm MacDonald

It’s almost like he wanted to get concussed, the runner pulled up five feet short of the bag

And if he flames out in the minors, the deal isn’t lucrative at all. Now obviously I’m sure his expected career earnings were greater than $3.6 million since this should be a fairly simple thing to model and this company wouldn’t be offering this if they expected to lose money on it, but this could absolutely be done…

He’s 27 and from Toronto. My god, Trump really is going to get rid of the Constitution

They’re almost as thirsty to make esports happen as Compete constantly cross-posting this stuff to Deadspin and getting a dozen comments, usually complaining in a similar vein to this one

In their defense, I imagine none of them have had a single digit BAC since they returned home

Every headline should start with ‘The True Story of Ricky Henderson’, the most effective clickbait known to man

Frasier is a great show and doesn’t deserve your scorn. Stick to Friends for all your overrated ‘90s show needs 

I was expecting hilarity, but then it just turned out to be a bunch of kids with 10 seconds to put it together and running out of time. Then we got to a kid with 1:20 to do it and I was like ah, now we’re getting to the good part. But then instead of struggling for over a minute and failing, he calmly put it together…

The black guy in the ripped shirt definitely needs the self-serve water, he isn’t getting any service otherwise

Stop trying to make Olympians rank things happen by reposting them over and over. It’s not going to happen.

I’ve seen it before where the spin on the ball somehow causes it to get caught in the net and pop back out resulting in no basket, but can’t imagine how this doesn’t count.

As long as they didn’t cut any of our beautiful curlers from the broadcast, I’m cool with it

I only use milk for cereal, and there’s a $0.20 difference between the full gallon and a half gallon. I have poured so much spoiled milk down the drain because I tell myself that this time I’m going to use it quicker and how can you buy a half gallon when it’s 90% of the cost of a full gallon?

You need to dig Sager up, reanimate him, and allow him to finally get revenge for all the abuse KG gave him about his outfits over the years, because I’d rather be seen in one of the suits as opposed to that hood