I think you need some Nathan for You in your life

Even if she can jump barely high enough to dunk, which she can’t since she’s 4'8, there’s no way her hands are big enough to control the ball on a dunk attempt. 

Where the fuck is Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch on this list? 

Imagine being the type of person to have a mullet without having a sense of humor about it

If it weren’t for the fact that women’s ACLs are made of glass, this would have nothing onf your average mid-June Rays-Padres fight. What did it last, 10 seconds? Hardly deserving of an oral history now that women’s MMA has gone mainstream and seeing women fight for real is no big deal. Agree that the Hooters detail…

Am I the only person to have ever taken opioids and been disappointed? I had surgery for a torn ligament in my thumb and was prescribed oxycodone, and it barely took the edge off the pain, let alone put me into some sort of drug-induced stupor. Did the pharmacist steal my pills to get high and slipped me aspirin or…

The fact that this man has never been coached by Bill O’Brien is a fucking tragedy

On my middle school slow-pitch softball team I made three throwing errors from third base in one inning. I remember crying the whole way home. A beer or two would have really taken the edge off. Thanks for nothing MOM

They need to bench Fitz immediately. Sure, he’s not good, but if you let him play 16 games, he’s going to have 3-6 of them where throwing into double coverage a half dozen times each game works out and they light it up. Start someone who panics the instant the play breaks down and will check it down all game. You…

Pretty sure this is what Jaden Smith would have been like had he inherited any athletic genes from his father at all

You summed up Portal 2 exactly. Portal was pretty much perfect. They took a fun mechanic, built a 5-10 hour game around it where you slowly figured out how portals worked all while being drawn into this very simple yet engrossing world. With Portal 2, we already knew how portals worked and we already knew the big…

Plus, imagine the kind of asshole who goes to a preseason football game. Your brain has to be absolute mush to want to attend one.

Balls taking a weird carom off the wall is like 90% of triples. That’s never an error

There’s a 0% chance Gruden can be as entertaining as the Rex Ryan season. Now let’s go to eat a goddamn snack.

I’m trying to imagine Gruden doing a Yoda impression now

Woj’s entire career consists of keeping NBA executives happy so that they’ll text him first when they sign a free agent and people can post gifs of him dunking on Shams in his twitter feed because he broke the news 17 seconds ahead of him. Focusing on a watch sponsorship is sort of missing the forest for the trees…

You really do get what you pay for. Based on this, anyone who’s played a Hitman game is justified in charging at least 20k to kill someone because at least they have experience in planning a hit that will actually get the job done and not result in an immediate arrest.

What is the rule for a ball out of bounds in basketball? Obviously in baseball if a fan reaches over the fence, it’s fan interference, but if it goes in the stands they have just as much right to the ball as the fielder reaching into the stands. The ball is clearly well outside the court when she takes a swipe at it.…

What the hell kind of beer league do you play in where the catcher trails the hitter and isn’t just the drunkest person on the team who can’t be trusted to have a pop fly not hit him in the face?

Look, let’s forget about the bar and consider the most audacious part of this entire post,the Bumble campus! Guys, you’re an app where you swipe left and right, I fail to see the need for more than one maybe medium-sized building.