Couterpoint: Cersei is not smart. The people who make this show are really, really dumb

That face when you’re a Giants fan and it takes you 10 seconds to get the joke because up until yesterday you had never heard of Daniel Jones

You ever smelled a potato that’s gone bad? The phantom masher probably just has an oversupply and wants to get rid of them before he opens his pantry and it smells like someone’s died in there.

I bet you can’t even get the AI in a video game to take Chris Davis’s contract off your hands, let alone an actual MLB GM.

Someone held their child’s birthday party during the first half of the Super Bowl? The fuck?

Gwyneth must have been flying to build up enough kinetic energy to knock down a grown man 

Really hard to take a sport seriously when going through puberty hurts you 

Bob Knight was a terrible color guy. The extent of his analysis consisted of complaining every time someone shot a semi-contested three instead of shot faking and taking a long two. The game has changed since the ‘80s Bob, try and keep up.

Ty Matejowsky is the only person here invited to my next dinner party

I liked this bit better when Billy Mitchell did it with WWI aces. 

Nah, Rovell 100% knows that if he doesn’t do shit like this to get dunked on in his twitter comments, everyone would stop hate following him. Being a twerp is his brand and he actively leans into it, otherwise he’s just a guy retweeting press releases all day. The urge to dunk on him is his lifeblood, he probably…

I got invited to go see the Bills and Lions play the second week of December in Buffalo to celebrate some guy’s birthday a couple days ago. I’m not sure how close a friendship you have to have with someone to willingly go see this Bills team play in the middle of December, but we are not there. 

The odds of getting an Uber driver in Arizona who even knows what sport the Ottawa Senators play let alone one who cares enough about hockey to post them shit talking an assistant coach have to be astronomical. Just really unlucky.

Can’t turn something that already is Swiss cheese into Swiss cheese

I’m bored with the “is a hot dog a sandwich” debate, I feel like this is an excellent round 2.

Aren’t strip clubs filled with old guys with gray hair who both have disposable income that young guys don’t and have no other way of seeing young women naked than paying them? Go to the strip club my friend, you will be welcomed

How is this different from any other Monday for him?

All the walking from Pokemon Go must keep him young

Exactly, these seems like a completely nonsensical denominator. So the more cars affected by a recall the better you do in this comparison? This is nonsense

Arrested Development era Ron Howard is my narrator