It's takes a serious heart of darkness not to enjoy it.

We always trick or treated in our suburban neighborhood. I live in NYC now and it's weird. You either trick or treat in your building or you go to businesses and trick or treat. You just walk into a restaurant or a shop and they give you candy.

I travelled when I was a kid because we lived out in the country. This lady made me so angry that I cried, though. My daughter has a friend who has basically nothing. She lives with her single mom is a run down apartment complex and every halloween she comes here and gets ready and goes trick or treating with my…

Hey I live in South Tampa!

I get travelers in my lower-middle to working class neighborhood. What I find really interesting is that my mom gets them too in her pretty terrible neighborhood. Her neighborhood is the kind of place where you probably won't get killed but your neighbors are most likely doing SOMETHING illegal...whether that is…

I live kind of, across the way from a really nice neighborhood. Like, an NFL player lives nearby. My house is more in the "new owner" kind of size, but there are some fucking awesome houses. It's got the same kind of deal: every Halloween, buckets of kids come in from everywhere to go trick or treating. And you know…

Or we could dress like a Highlander character.

Wow, I can't tell you how much I relate to this... and I am a man. My mother is still a fucking twig. And actually I am quite thin, too. She's a mean judgmental person when it comes to weight. And around my house, growing up, all "bad" things were brought back to weight: Didn't get good grades? "Maybe you should spend…

I prefer The Ripper, a song by Judas Priest. I'm sure holes will be poked in this latest theory, as history has always loved a mystery...

Western chair-style toilets are uncommon, rare, or completely nonexistent in a lot of Asian cultures. If the lady was a recent transplant or a visitor who hasn't spent much time in other countries with our type of porcelain throne, that's a totally rational mistake. In many eastern nations, squat-over-an-opening type…

Also, if you're that committed to a clean seat, just clean the seat! Oh my gosh, keep your own personal (and personally paid for) stash of wipes on hand so that you can sanitize the seat every fucking time if it's that important to you.

Sensitive subject: How do I explain to my counter person that, rather than coke or sprite, I would like my Big Mac combo to come with a large soda's worth of secret sauce?

I think this is just something that happens a lot. People want to marry heroes (or bad guys) that present an alternate lifestyle. I have dated in a cartel family before (kind of an accident) and I could see how people get wrapped up in that, people like belonging to something. We see it all the time here with cartel…

After carefully reviewing the entire internet, it appears I was wrong.... there are, in fact, dinosaur ghosts.

I was serving appetizers at a wedding once:

Lady: What's that??

For sure, I was just wondering if she waited until she knew she could no longer be prosecuted.

Not all psychopaths are killers. Most just get jobs in middle management and make the lives of everyone below them in rank miserable, driving them insane or making them suicidal.