“I’m a conservative today not because I was born one, but because of the experience I earned as a Marine in combat, my experience as a husband and father, my choice to be a Christian, the schools I chose to attend and the decision to pursue the career that I have”

“There were good people on both sides of the abuse.”

As an American, I hope I can help vote him out of office. I’m sure he wishes me to be successful with that.

Being a white guy helps too.

I don’t equate braided belts with douches. I equate them with dorks, slobs, and old people.

“- Safety - If you read travel blogs, most crimes that happen to tourists are crimes of theft, usually in the form of pickpockets, who are criminals of opportunity. If you look like a tourist, you will more likely be targeted, than if you look like someone on business. A good sports coat, helps one blend in,…

I laughed way too hard at your bibliography.

1. Cut all the brownies and place them on a plate.

What about Dr. Christine Palmer coming across Strange and Stark (Team Goatee) and asking something to the tune of “So, which one of you Sherlocks is going to figure out what that thing in the sky is meant for?”

It may not have died, but it is definitely drunk as fuck somewhere! 

Dude needs to rethink his life.

Plaintiff “George St. George”

I start at the bottom because I don’t want the wire running from the AC outlet to the top of the tree instead of the bottom.

Professor X didn’t appear, but yeah, sent them from a shopping center to Rockefeller Center without their memories of the fight. Lobdell did hint that Santa’s the “world’s most powerful mutant,” but hey, Cerebro’s been wrong before.

Yep, you’re right. He teleported the X-Men away from the fight, right? And basically Professor X is like, “Damn, fam, that’s tight.”

Technically, *pushes glasses up nose, gets shoved in locker* Santa single-handedly beat a line-up of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants without breaking a sweat.

They actually thought the line “and there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas” was acceptable. There won’t be fucking snow in Florida this Christmas either, so fucking what??

Since we’re talking about Godzilla and Santa, it’s worth noting that, in the Marvel Comics Universe, Santa is a near all-powerful mutant who defeated the entire X-Men nearly instantaneously. He’s like a class 5 mutant who lives forever and can change his mass and conjure snowballs and shit.

What is the minimum Santa-related power he’d need to stand a chance against Gozilla? If you factor in that he, in theory, travels at approximately the speed of light (or can do some sort of wormhole shit), can manipulate his own matter to fit down chimneys (and may potentially be fireproof) and has a magic infinity…