There's an obscure animated movie called Queer Duck from maybe 10 years ago. Tiny Jesus, voiced by David Duchovny, is on a tiny crucifix as some jerks foist it in the face of Queer Duck. They want him to not be gay and they're yelling "The power of Christ compels you!" Tiny Jesus comes alive to say "No I don't!" and…

Next we'll be talking about penis voting rights. Shouldn't men get to vote with both of their heads?

[sighs and deletes comment involving a joke about making a right turn at Albuquerque]

edit, hit wrong person to reply too sorry

No doubt; you'd think they'd work for a national living wage and universal health care.

Haha I was just imagining my blanket falling off my bed. REAL PEOPLE, PEOPLE

Hell of it is, this probably IS the best they can do. Fucking incompetents.

Dogs, cats, spiders, guppies all also squirm in response to stimuli. As do cells. As do bacteria. as does this:

"We believe it's our mission to save lives."

Gotta love Georgia republicans.

Just skip the baby shower, and send me a pregnancy announcement with your PayPal. I will send you some money not to sit through another hell where people think that melting candy bars on diapers constitutes "fun".

So... I can understand the first guy being fooled. All he had to go on was the initial post, which was beautiful in it's satiric portrayal of an Alabaman's reaction to this story.

Wow, are you actually from AL? Those are some serious grammar issues you've got there.

This is exactly the attitude that keeps pedophilia alive and harmful. If we put so much effort into making pedophiles feel "wrong and sick", instead of admitting that this is a real social problem and putting that energy into researching effective interventions and harm reduction strategies, we are almost guaranteeing…

HAHAHAHAHA. Like the government actually gives a shit about pedophiles. They're much more concerned with Auntie Lou's apple pie recipe than they are about actual crimes.

I see the Kotaku perverts have landed.

Yes, you definitely should have been aborted.

We get it. You want to sleep with teenagers.