Can Russia get any worse? Russia and Florida need to die in a fire.

In turn, I want a bill passed that gives jizz human rights. I want a 21 gun salute and taps played every time a single sperm doesn’t fulfill it’s creation destiny. The bill will require Texas to invest billions of dollars in trumpets.

We here at the Interior Department are jumping for joy today at the fact that Sarah Palin was not picked as our new Secretary. Glass half full?

The original Trump slogan. “Make Vader Scary Again.”

I’m so torn here. On the one hand, I don’t like that tax payers are paying Pitbull millions of dollars to make a tourism video. On the other hand, fuck Florida.

Prior to becoming a park ranger, I spent some time working in law enforcement and the juvenile justice system. Despite the fact that I no longer work those jobs, sniffing out lies is something that I still have a gift for. Or maybe it’s a curse, because I hate when I can tell someone is lying. It makes me…

Give me Tulsi! She’s fucking amazing!

Every time I hate-read something of his, I think to myself, I bet this guy’s entire family hates him.

Yep. Team Fuck That Guy.

Anytime I hear Filter, I can’t help but be transported back to 1996. What a horrible time for music.

When I was in college, my friend, we shall call him Jake, got a Colorado buffalo tattoo on his ankle. All black, except for Rashaan Salaam’s Colorado jersey number 19, right in the middle of it. At the time, Jake was going to Iowa State, but had an affinity for all things Colorado. When he got the tattoo, we were…

Jesus, I just spent 45 minutes reading that whole thing. Glorious.

Gasser is my fucked up uncle. Is a republican. Has anger issues. Hates minorities. Is waiting, no, itching for someone to “make his day.” I honestly am just waiting for the day that I talk to my dad and he tells me that uncle Dan shot someone. It’s going to happen. He carries his gun everywhere. He purposefully…

Agreed. We need to put the Mike Brown argument to bed. There are hundreds of other legit innocent people of color who we can point to as examples of police racism.

Thank you. Lindy was here during that great time (not great) when you would scroll down into the comment section and see super disgusting and graphic photos. That was a bad time. As a commenter, I stayed out of the comment section.

As a woman, I can honestly say I am jealous of his giant breasts.

Fuck this lady.

My 350,000 mile plus 92' 4Runner, agrees with this statement.

I just imagine Virgina MacCaskey saying something like, “Blacks are quarterbacks???”

I can tell you that both my mom and stepdad were utterly shocked. I think if you don’t frequent the internets as much as all of us here do, and you can’t hold simultaneous thoughts like a puppy, you were in for a big reveal. That last sentence sums up my parents to a tee. It must have been thrilling for them to…