I mean, Double-A is basically the bush league, so...

Baseball: Where it’s totally not cool to do your job to try and beat someone else in the game you’re playing, but it’s absolutely fine to throw a projectile at someone’s face if they watched their home run for too long that one time 10 months ago.

That’s why I only snorkel with tour groups. If there is a shark out there, I want to keep a couple of out-of-shape midwesterners between it and me.

This is a butt take. 

“Entertaining” and “irritating” have very similar syllables and vowel sounds. I understand your confusion.

“Honestly, I’m not a big fan of this play with nobody out...”

Amazing

Here is Stevie singing Wid Heart while getting her makeup done for a photo shoot. You’re welcome.

Such poor planning. No security, or velvet ropes, and you arrange the expensive ass art like a giant game of fucking dominoes.

I feel like his face wants to eat his teeth, or vice versa. What an ambiguous human jelly fish.

She is mostly likely a terrible person too. Don’t let the pretty packaging fool ya

I saw this show once and it fucking disgusted me.

Let’s be real, the only part of the description these fucking pigs paid any attention to is the word “Black.” Age, shape, size, gender, none of these things man a thing so long as whoever they grabbed was Black. This is not a case of mistaken identity. This is the cops not giving a fuck who they target and aren’t even…

Thanks Matt for letting Brandon and me crash at your extremely neat crib (seriously, how’s it possible that a bunch college dudes lived in such a tidy apartment?).

Thanks to David and Brandon for making this weekend the greatest automotive experience of my life thus far. The Briarwood will always be the anchor of my future fleet of shit boxes and I owe it all to you guys.

ok

thank you, I have not been described as cool or witty for a very long time. What is a flying spaghetti monster?

But there are no witty christian jokes other than, well, the whole christian thing.

quick, someone get this guy a safe space

Out of curiosity, I looked up her lifting numbers: “she has hit a 340lbs squat, 410lbs deadlift, and can probably bench 185lbs. Thats a 935lbs total at 100lbs”