On Spaceship Earth with Rabbi Jesus Hillel Mohammad: clean! clean! hygiene is God’s commandment to humanity! Eternal Father! Absolutes None!

I love reading the bottle while having a soak. The guy wrote all that stuff without an ounce of self-consciousness!

I was using dr bronners lavender for like a full year and then all of the sudden my skin exploded every time I even looked at it and now I am in the market for a slightly less hardcore soap but ideally one that still has weird unattributed Milton quotes on the bottle

once i used peppermint on my face without realizing and it was very surprising but then i also felt SUPER AWAKE. and then my whole face peeled off. worth it.

You youngsters also tend to say “us millenials” rather than “we millenials” and also misspell millennials, but you have it right with manbuns.

Mmm. Intergenerational conflict. Bring on the Boomers to shake their walkers and the other Millenials to make fun of them with Snapchat filters. As a dedicated Xer, I shall dutifully express my aloofness by rolling my eyes at all of you.

oh, millenials are going to "fix" things. can't wait for that.

“Like, oh my god! I’m edgy. You think I’m edgy, right? Good, because I’m outrageous. You never know what I’m going to say next. Everyone says that about me. Don’t they say that about me? ***BELCH*** Oh man, I really want to just pound some brews and get laid. Oh, there I go again! I’m totes wild. I’m like one of the…

Scent of His Semen is my second favorite al pacino film, right after Any Given Cumday.

Patti, I’d eat a bag of dicks before I'd give up fruit.

Make love

OK, but how many years has it been since Nick Denton has seen Suri?

Divorce attorney here!

I was just reading some comments about the Depp/Heard story on other sites and I’ve concluded that a video could emerge of Johnny Depp repeatedly punching Amber Heard in the face, and the internet would still declare her to be a gold digger who deserved it.

So fucking depressing.

Holly Madison’s new baby’s name is “Rafael Michelangelo Leonardo Donatello”. There, I saved you guys a click through.

A. Candle. Selling. For. Four. Hundred. Seventy. Dollars.

New York limousine liberals will spend a lot of money to keep their kids away from the unwashed masses. Even those who claim to love public education.

I...don’t hear the resemblance? But mostly because Let’s Get It On is a fantastic song and Thinking Out Loud is fine when there is absolutely nothing else on the radio and the NPR segment is on a book about different rice types.

I clicked on the nude Orlando-link (I am only human) and wow, which POET writes the captions for photos on The Sun website?