Oh, hello Tongue Twin.

I ate a Symphony bar today. I bought it down the street. YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE I CALL THIS LAZY RESEARCH!

I want to thank you for this because it made me realize that she's wearing a watermelon dress on the cover of her book.

That's exactly what I thought: her poor, poor liver.

"Bananas are... gonna help you be the best person you can be."

They really should acknowledge Caucasian athletes at the ESPYs. That is some serious baloney.

Physics. But still, right?

Speak for yourself.

My husband, who is a 32 yr-old teacher from Michigan, had NEVER HEARD OF WILLIAMSBURG. When I acted stunned, he told me it's probably because it's "an Eastern Thing". You know, like the Declaration of Independence.

Just to say I am murderous on your behalf. I would be crying, too, but try to just focus on your baby and be happy! That's what I do whenever someone says some insensitive pregnancy shit to me. Hugs, etc.

ELEVEN bridesmaids? What a fucking nightmare.

I need to know more about this, please.

Ah yes, nightmare Popples.

Anyone else think Cara DeLevigne looks exactly like River Phoenix? Just me? Okay then.

I agree, could not care less. And I feel stupid because I don't even know who half of those people are. Oh well. Read away!

Here, you are, friend:

Yeah, if that's how she wants it, fine. And it made me realize that if I were a star I would definitely be a prime patient for that type of stuff because I realized I was raising my eyebrows just watching this. What must that feel like? Novicaine?

Okay, I'm not an "OMG her FACE she was so BEAUTIFUL before" person. But I read those comments a lot, so I paid special attention to her expressions. Did not raise her eyebrows one time. Didn't MOVE her eyebrows once. Or smile so that her upper face changed at all. I guess it's whatever these people are doing to their…

Oh yes of course. My apologies.