This was a fucking epically massive podium for ALL of Olympic history. Here we have the first black American woman to win an individual swimming event EVER, which is fantastic in and of itself, and yet here she is tied with a young woman who has just achieved a national medal-record in her own right, not to mention…

Good thing there was a Family Protection Device in the home to facilitate this complete and total massacre. +1 to you, gun nuts.

Do you know if CBC has a Roku app?

A hamburger is not an appropriate food item to sandwich in between two halves of a denuded avocado. It is nothing short of a logistical nightmare. How, precisely, would one consume this meal?

Yeah!

nobody at all wants to vote for avowed racist and repugnant old weirdo David Duke.

you better be absolutely perfect from the second you come out of the womb. If not, then you don’t deserve anything, no matter how hard you work for it.

Sorry, but this whole thing right here is a resounding ‘NO’. Especially as you get closer to the floor. Just... stop it with this right now. So much no.

Cat: somehow this has become my life...

“That cat looks mentally unstable. It should not have been given a banana.”

Here’s my trick, and it’s flawless:

“This is my everything right meow!!!!!!”

It’s going to be so goddamn cool we’ll need to recalibrate the meaning of that word.

I’m having one of those super-stupid kind of days so far.. can someone tell me what I’m missing here?

“can trigger or aggravate”

No, all pimples are not caused by the food you’re eating.

“The only vague evidence of such a thing is milk and high fat or glycemic food, but it can be because of the hormones in the cow milk,”

(It’s not actually true.)