My wife just broke our son's penguin (dropped the full tank on a hard floor) that he'd had seemingly since birth.

My wife just broke our son's penguin (dropped the full tank on a hard floor) that he'd had seemingly since birth.

That's entirely possible, but I'm trying not to attribute to malice what can (probably) be adequately explained by stupidity, or at least extreme haste. Again, maybe they'll follow through and actually start the conversation after they've figured out how to hire the people who do know how. But again, I'm not, you…

A buddy of mine tells the story of going to some crappy nowhere fieldhouse where they had barely-better-than "my mom can sew the costumes" concerts, and you paid your $7 to see whoever they could lure in for a split of the bar tab. Opening one night was this guy calling himself "Prince" so, sure, buddy, whatever,…

We are all "THAT MAKES NO SENSE" lady.

Gosh, it's almost like "No More" is nothing more than a hastily thrown together corporate PR initiative designed to cover a major corporation's giant problem.

Frankly, the most NSFW thing about that was the "tune in now" link. I gotta get some shit done here before I call it a week...

Not gonna lie, I have VERY fond remembrances of Kristen Johnson on that show. Dunno, she just did it for me.

I don't mean to be that guy (not true, I love being that guy) but there are more people of color in this commercial than have ever attended every single NASCAR race ever combined forever.

You're free to be wrong about that. "Stretched out at the back like Spandex at Ft. Lauderdale beach" was awesome.

Ok, understood, you're talking about medium sized cities, not a complete lack of access. I'm dubious that Uber is the answer, when really what should happen is that those cities should allow more medallions. They'd be a boon to the city's coffers, and probably provide more reliable service.

MADD: Exploiting personal tragedy for political gain since 1975

C'mon, I grew up in a town of 8,000 people, and cab service was 10 minutes away max, regardless of time of day.

Two more games convinces you of that? Not two per team, but two playoff games? Somebody needs a fainting couch.

Ok so normally I'm all "ugh, highlight truthers..." but "this was previously done by a child almost identically" has to be the crowning achievement in highlight trutherism for all time.

Hey Ernie, why do you have a banana in your ear?

OMFG, the couple friends. I mean, seriously, I love the hell out of my wife but could she have just one single fking friend at her book club or her work or her whatever whose husband wasn't both a) making 5x what I do and b) completely unfamiliar with sports? I mean, at least if he's a rich d-bag who likes sports we…

Seconded. Guiness actually put up a billboard or magazine ad or something a few years back that said "120 calories...yeah, we were pretty surprised too"

Andrew Luck and the Colts are burgeoning, but they are the least seasoned group of the remaining four teams, making it hard to believe they will end up in this year's big game.

Aaron Rodgers was drafted 24th, but do go on with your scorching hot take.