Yeah, let's make sure you never ever have to be even slightly inconvenienced by the immature actions of another patron at a bar. Sound reasoning, sparky.

My feeling is: if I can't hear it, smell it, or accidentally step on it, it's not a problem.

So a couple of years ago, I ordered something outside the usual for me when out with my wife and my in-laws. I want to say it was Great Lakes Christmas Ale (it was definitely a Christmas Ale, it's the brand I don't remember). Quite good, I thought, and nice to get me out of my Guiness rut, so I had a couple more. Ok,…

Ok, so om the one hand, there's the whiff of "the right way" St. Louis Cardinals bullshit about this (which is arrant nonsense), but on the other hand, we're talking about his sack dance celebration mocking another dude (which is awesome, because he did it after sacking him, not after tackling him for a 9 yard gain on…

That's got to be the lowest rung on the "points for..." scale, right?

Well, that take is way hotter than any daytime temperature in Qatar. Now they'll have to play, after having their manhood trolled by a real goddamned macho man like yourself.

Radio guy in Chicago (maybe Dan McNeil?) said it really well, like 20 years ago...I don't have to be a chef to know the food sucks.

I'm not sure you and I would agree on much, but excellent use of the word "twerp." Time to bring that one back.

You talking about Family Feud or Deadspin now?

My child-abduction rescue has the bad guys taking off from the park in a van or stolen truck (always a bakery truck...I dunno), forcing me to commandeer a bicycle and take off after them, catching just enough of a glimpse of which direction they're headed to intuitively know where they are, take a shortcut through the…

This was a bit on "The League" recently, and I can't believe that anyone had a problem with someone farting at a urinal. Sure, maybe if there's one other dude in the place and it's cramped quarters you give it a sec for the other person to clear, but damn...where the hell else can you even go?

I despise the Steelers almost as much as I hate the Browns (hi, Bengals fan here...), but when wandering around near Heinz Field a while back, there was a great t-shirt for sale, it said: "Team Pictures, Greatest Teams in Browns History" and then 3 empty boxes titled "1996," "1997," and "1998."

Big, sharp, loaded, semi-automatic rakes. (and btw, I first read this as "beaten down with rapes" and I had the Opus/Nun beating thought..."good lord man, I can't support that.")

Mrs. Magary, we've warned you about coming here before...

How about they just stop fucking penalizing stupid shit altogether and, short of pulling their cock out, let them fucking celebrate?

So there's always been this sub-sub-genre of "geographic location shout-out" songs (Dancing in the Streets, Heart of Rock and Roll, uhhh...the Dancing in the Streets cover...)

This one is worse than all of them combined, wrapped up in dirty diapers, and multiplied by herpes. They just played it on the station I had on…

If by "dances" you mean "jerks off into a mini-Cardinals ice cream helmet" before cleaning up with his "1987 NL East Champion" t-shirt before writing 5,000 words on whether it's ok to keep Adrian Peterson on your fantasy roster, then yeah.

Mike Brown's crooked little mustache and barely concealed panic are awfully good.

I had to unfollow, I just couldn't put up with the stupid anymore. But it's pretty great. You could probably do a pretty good game show of "who was it RT by, @BestFansStLouis or @YesYoureRacist?"

Wait, Tridevil, as in Tri-devil? Oh FFS...