“Look, Coach O’Brien, we know you coached football 10,000 hours last year, but you also changed the toilet paper roll once, so now you make $7.50 an hour, OK?”

Normally it only does that to your bowels.

until the colonel removes the cheeto chicken sandwich, a restaurant will be destroyed every night. this i swear to you

With the lack of punctuation and the misspelling of “orgasm,” Tyrus was clearly typing with one hand.

Britt McHenry is a piece of shit.

It’s a small price to pay.

Didn’t Bin Laden Construction sponsor an F1 car back in the 80s?

What company? The money laundering front called Rich Energy? 😆

Looks like we’re not done yet.

Not the first time a company has had a rouge employee tweet something stupid.

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

If it isn’t the ExRays, somebody screwed up.

MadMen Theory: Drink a bottle of scotch before lunch. This applies to everyone: owner, general manager, scouts, coaches and players.

Woah, woah, woah. Let’s not let GrapeNuts off the hook so quickly. It’s literally gravel.

Acting like the Raptors could only do this because Lebron was gone is wrong. If you replace Derozan with Kawhi in any of the previous seasons, those series go way differently with Kawhi guarding Lebron and actually making shots.

That seems like a very specific lesson.

Don’t sell yourself short, idiots are in high demand for NBA GM openings.

I stated, here and on Twitter, like dozens of times, that it didn’t matter who won Raps/Sixers because Milwaukee was going to destroy either one and was the only team in the East who had a shot of challenging Golden State, so I just want to use this space to say: I am an idiot, and this is one of several reasons why I…

As a Raptors fan since the earliest days, let me say: this is weird. I don’t know what to make of this. We didn’t fail and that’s unnerving. 

I actually believe St. Louis style wine is an unrefrigerated bottle of Sunny D.