You’d think that by this point in the NHL season, “Jersey Lost” wouldn’t be a noteworthy story anymore.

“Unless using the following phrase, “That fucking cock-shit Chip Kelly is a bitch asshole” which will result in a coupon for one (1) free small soda at a later date.”

dude I got to my second in that time. Try harder.

I don’t know man, he’s 2-0 vs women in his career.

Yeah, because pointing out an oddity means I think I’m better than him.

Rex will be back on his feet in no time!

Wow, BOTH Ryans. This is a great weight off of the Bills shoulders.

It’s a little known fact that the leg in the lower right corner of the Bobby Orr celebration photo is Jaromir Jagr, who was is his 7th season with the Bruins.

The god of hockey hair. All hail.

You embiggened that comment.

Bless your heart.

Great. Just after I got my permit for Jump & Pump: Trampoline and Skeet Park and had a commercial all lined up with NBA stars saying “Sometimes we jump, sometimes we pump and sometimes we do both at Jump & Pump!”

Prudent of publications to not buy and publish the photos. Publishing images of people in bed without their consent has bankrupted publications before.

Can’t wait to see Joe Smith III take on Hopkins in 2030

Oh, you.

But there is a reason! Doing so would be too much like right.

It’s OK, because starting with Super Bowl LI, all NFL officiating calls will be immediately reviewed by a panel comprising Jeff Sessions, Eric Trump and Dr. Ben Carson. Decisions of the panel are final and not subject to further review.

This multibillion dollar sport won’t even hire its own officials as full time employees to save cash.

“Also, if you hear I was an intermediary for a Congolese warlord who swindled me out of millions in gold, that’s TOTALLY not true, either.”

It sounds like the worst game of slap—hand ever