I'm pissed Lisa Simpson's name was left off the ballot.

I didn't know your Grandma could play ball. What's she any good?

Somewhere, Wayne LaPierre just had an orgasm.

Nice boobs

Because he rides the short bus.

To illustrate his point, Teixeira fell to the ground and feigned an injury.

The poor dog has a fear of Clowneys. Who could blame it.

Clearly, he missed the cut off man.

You could burn it to the ground, but they're only going to blame it on the black guys.

Here's the unification. A spectacle where the fans are brain dead, meets a sport where the fighters are brain dead.

The only thing Stephen A floats is air biscuits.

I dare say Mullet Boy could carve up those Maryland pretty boys in a Minnesota minute.

Somebody's got too much time on their hands.

That's the problem. You need someone to reach into you instead of out to you.

Stewart points at Lindros. "Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case."

Nice!

The team in yellow suddenly became the team in gold, there's kids crying and women fainting. What the hell is this - Armageddon?

I see a counterfeit jersey in my immediate future.

I think we've spotted the problem.

Great. Great. Great.