On the bright side, no one peed in the pool.

It's only an invasion of privacy is you clench your cheeks.

News flash: when you're on your ass, you are facing in the wrong direction for anal.

Or through it?

Just another Saturday night at Shorty's Bar & Grille.

They gave him a plain cheese slice that had fallen on the floor.

Is that Buford Pusser in the background?

The only shadow cast by Elway last night came from the sun shining out of Payton Manning's ass.

I heard that they in fact let half the air out of the ball so even the fat kids could run after it.

Somehow, I knew you were going to write that.

This is the point where all the smug hockey fans quietly gloat. We're nobody's bitch. Not that we don't want to be somebody's bitch, but we're just not.

And the NTSB.

Hope he doesn't dot the I.

I'd guess crack.

One wore a suit to work, and the one wears a hoodie with the arms cut off. Things appear to be ass backwards in Bean Town.

Staple some airline headphones and some 7 Eleven tissues to his door. $2.00, not including the Slurpee, and it's problem solved.

That's Swami scary.

That kind of admission will get your ass kicked in the sandbox. Hide, man, hide!

At least they neatly folded their clothes.

Because nobody cares!