My first year at college, I will always remember one of our suitemates walking into our dorm room (which was a left when walking towards the bathroom that was on the right). He came in, walked up to a large cardboard box full of (basically) toys my mom would send me and started pissing in it.

I’ve sharted twice.

Annoying guy on Grindr finally convinced me to let him cover over despite me being drunk and tired. He shows up without his wallet, so I have to pay his cab. He’s had...let’s say...less than optimal clean-up down below over the course of the evening so by the time we get together, he’s a bit...ripe.

Growing up conservative/evangelical Christian, and knowing nothing of sex, I remember how much reading “Everything you wanted to know about sex (but were afraid to ask)“ helped me ... uh ... not be as awkward as I might have been.

SO ...

What company logo has been tattooed on the most people? My vote is the Nike swoosh.

*Exactly* what I was thinking

My mom got me one for my birthday (my 39th). I was like “wtf” and now I’m like “this thing is great!”

Virginia’s Bold Rock, my brother and I have found, is just the thing to have on the patio on a hot day after taking the dog to the park.

I will not get into debates on ratios here (so many variables) but while orange bitters are quite tasty in one, also try rhubarb bitters. My friend Marshall suggested it to me and I’ve found they make a negroni even better, in my opinion.

I started bartending at a restaurant with a great wine program. Great wine tastes great. It tastes even greater with great food. I go home and drink cheap wine and cheap beer. I judge no one.

Note: I do not want poop stories. Please stop sending me poop stories.

Yeah, I only saw something like that almost happen once - we were at Matchbox on Cap Hill and a Marine drinking there wandered out for a smoke long enough that the bartender worried he was getting stiffed. But it all worked out.

RE: the Navy story. The military’s brass really does not like their service members pulling shit like that.

Thank you, so much, for this:

A friend of mine is allergic to tomatoes. We were at a new restaurant locally and she asked the waitress if the “vegetables of the day” had tomatoes. She checked with the kitchen and said no, they did not.

When I was in college, Old Rasputin was my gateway from crap to “good” beers, and I loved it. My local “good beer shop” never carded me when I bought it because of my good taste.

I live in Arlington - dunno if my stoop will work, but any good recommendations on where to get a tomato plant around Ballston?

For the bottom one: “You should meet my roommate and future law firm partner, Matt Murdock.”

Sorry. Too much Daredevil lately.

Yeah man. Gotta go in chill. Not like you’re going to go in, meet some lady, and immediately go bang (at least, *I’m* not, because I have to showcase my winning personality first)...

(Then I go back to the room and jack it again, because it’s rare that I pick anybody up at the bar.)