I said it earlier, and I'll say it again. God dammit.

God dammit.

I think that's my mom. Only my mom is too poor to be able to afford to get into the stadium. She must be fucking some rich guy.

If what you mean by "burn" is "snarky comment," then no, I wasn't trying to make a burn. Just stating an opinion.

I'm really surprised that you haven't yet included Coach Chud in your "Fire This Asshole!" bit. He's a Browns coach. He'll be lucky if he's the coach in 2015.

It's hard to take Rodrick Johnson seriously, with all of those spelling errors, and how he ends every sentence with an exclamation point.

Red Creme Soda from White Castle. Obviously.

Original recipe was awesome. Since they changed it in '99 or '00, not so much.

EVERYBODY! Send your momma straight out to the store, tell that bitch to bring home a Faygo!

Where the fuck is the Faygo? It deserves its own category!

As soon as I saw it live, I started looking for the post on Deadspin.

Shit still makes me laugh like whoa.

Even though your AFC North picks make me cringe, I have to give you credit for not pulling a Cowherd and putting all your division winners at 10-6 and your division losers at 5-11.

Heh.

Given the way he eluded the defense and actually made it to the end zone, I hope to see this man signed by the Browns before the season begins.

It would appear that the video has been removed.

What a dumbass. He acts like he's the arbiter of cultural knowledge, but he somehow doesn't know that the Eagles were an enormously popular band forty years ago. I was born after they split up, and even I know that.

Can't stand UFC/MMA. It's like professional wrestling, minus all of the things I like about wrestling. And here they are, trying to control what comes in and go out so tightly that nothing ever leaks. They need to learn from the examples set by the larger sports: the media is too powerful for you to control,…

Holy shit.

I can't believe you missed your opportunity to do a Grantland-style piece making analogies between the Ravens and The Wire. Simmons is very disappointed in you right now.