OK. I need everyone to know this:

The other day I noticed a bunch of Oreo crumbs had accumulated in my collarbones while I was eating in bed laying down. Sexy y/n?

“Don Citrus.”

See anonymous internet commenters, this is why you don’t “just adopt” when you are having problems with conceiving.

Part of me really wanted Momager to actually smack Psycho Santa with the pizza pan.

If I were such a huge asshole that my family had to tell people that I had brain damage to explain my behavior, I’d MAYBE think about dialing it back just a bit.

I’m happy for him. He has given interviews where he has talked about wanting to be a father. It’s nice to come across an actor who actually wants to have children versus an actor who accidentally knocked up co-star and here we are.

After getting a gander at his nose hair, I felt like River freaking out at Book’s hair.

Forget the ridiculous third reason for a moment. Why do there seem to be so many otherwise intelligent people who don’t seem to understand that the vast majority of the time it’s not appropriate to act on your sexual impulses? Literally everyday of the week I work with and walk by women that I am attracted to,…

Okay I need to say this because some of these comments are making me feel weird.

I don’t want to make assumptions about what it is like to have a mastectomy. But I am imagining that if I had to have a mastectomy, even if I’ve come to terms with it and learned to accept my drastically changed body, seeing a bunch of attractive young women with their perfect breasts holding a coke can in my honor…

I like the Lovebird Challenge better.

don’t act like you can’t force yourself to change. You might just not want to.

You’re missing the even better version of this. Using a food processor, add frozen banana’s and nutella to whipped heavy cream and freeze quickly for the best ice cream you ever made. Best part: no ice cream maker required.

They had Thor as a frog - A FROG in one series. Pffffffffffffffffffffffft

The stories are about a fire man, an orange rock man, an invisible woman, & a stretchy domestic abuser. “Authentic”, “gritty”, & “realistic" are words that have no place here.

“Go outside and walk around”.

My wife hates the grande size crap. She owns a non-Starbucks coffee shop, and people order grande things all the time. She has to ask if they mean medium like they think they’re inside a Starbucks, or a large because that’s what grande means! And she can’t just guess because she’s inevitably wrong. And don’t get her…

This looks so fucking comfortable.