I’ll tell you why this joke is so funny: It’s funny because in this story, the subject was found about 18 hours ago probably choking on his own vomit and is now on his death bed with his loved ones surrounding him.

Now here’s a guy who, even in the middle of a really sad and emotional story, is able to keep his head and get right to the essence of what matters.

President Dewey favorited your Tweet

Egging on the guy to shoot the other guy in the head.

So the shooter was egged on, fell from a wall, and was injured in the fall. I think we’re looking for Humpty Dumpty.

Take note, Sam Hurd!!!!

“Best College Football Anal Sin!”

JaVale picks up my guns and takes them to my gar.

Yes.

does she realize that she should pull her pants down first?

It looks like Philbin was able to resolve that issue at practice. Tannehill looked a lot more comfortable getting intercepted during the game.

Always took him for a catcher.

Media and coaches use the word ‘chemistry,’ not players.

“They used the word ‘chemistry,’”

I don’t know, Barry. Pushing the Super Bowl back to accommodate the NFL’s biggest event would be incredibly controversial.

Yes. Ed Hochuli.

It’s refreshing to see an argument between a black man and a white guy with guns end without any casualties.

Ed Hochuli is, I believe, a lawyer by his full-time profession. So I would have to assume he is lying here.

If people spent all that energy on themselves instead of worshipping a hypocritical celebrity in a position that is literally “holier than thou”, the world would be a much better place.

Spotlight. Opens 6 Nov 15. Also features Rachel Mac Adams, Liev Schreiber, & John Slattery.