I always scroll down on the Simmons articles to find the first asshole who writes something like this. Congratulations, J-Bug, you’re today’s asshole!

I don’t think you guys get it. The story is that Bill Simmons is IN BOSTON tonight and will be AT THE GAME.

Yes, for sure Morris is not in the same category of growth or career development as the other players. That is 100% correct. I included him in the equation mainly because he is, though, a player who because of absences has to fill a very key assignment on a really good team deep in the playoffs, which he has never had…

You’re right that they miss Kyrie in those late situations that require improvisational brilliance; but having no choice but to fend for themselves and not rely on Kyrie has forced all the other players to be better, and they’ve done it.

Tatum and Brown are just playing themselves into the players they’re going to be, brother. You’re just seeing the very beginning of those boys, not some “over-their-heads” version you’ll never see again.

Tang-hurray: Majorska vodka mixed directly with powdered Tang (no water) and no ice.

I was an expat living in a foreign country for 3+ years and had many conversations with many well-traveled people, and never came close to the topic of how many different nationalities of people I or the other person has had sex with.

Thats why youre not F-U rich.

The strategy against a player who is as much a force of nature as Embiid can never be something like ‘let’s hold him to half his scoring average’. It’s got to be like, ‘let’s accept that he’s probably going to have big numbers because everything runs through him, but let’s fuck with his universe just enough to make…

From the point of view of a Celtics fan, every time Embiid takes a jumper down the stretch instead of backing someone down and laying it in or getting to the line is like manna from heaven.

Very good then. Once this world finally gets to the point where everyone tells everyone else exactly what they think of each other and makes purely rational decisions to interact only with people that are mutually agreeable to each other, you will have exactly what you’re looking for. Good luck, I hope you can get by…

When you’re a band that produced“Who Are You,” “Eminence Front,” and “Baby O’Reilly,” and some reasonable people feel they don’t even make your top 5, that means you’re a very good band.

I’d like some better understanding of why I’m fucking off, but you’ll either provide it or you won’t.

Fine. I will.

And also, by the way: There is someone (or perhaps more than one person) that considers ME the friend or in-law they don’t like to be around. And there’s someone who considers YOU the friend or in-law they don’t like to be around.

There was also one bit in there that the idiot letter-writer is failing to recognize: By his own admission, his fiancee has already been incredibly understanding and accommodating of his request not to spend time around this friend, but it is not nearly enough for him. Instead he sees it his born right as a dudebro to…

Your answer to the guy with the vaguely annoying friend-of-fiencee was the best answer, Albert. It was the very, very best answer. It was a real-life answer, the answer of a wise real-life man. It should be read by all members of all marriages, because there’s something in it for everyone.

Thank you for that answer.

I think it was between-the-legs-from-behind....

As a Celtics fan, it was REALLY nice not having Khris Middleton and Jabari Parker on the court anymore.

This is a very good pinpointing a of what makes Tatum’s game look a little different and more special than others on the court. Very good explanation and observation.