Up next: Lindy West and Hamilton Nolan mull over possible military action against the #1 threat to America: Batkid. Here, on Face the Nation.

I hate Pennsylvania Nazis.

I hate Pennsylvania Nazis.

"Go Green" indeed.

It really won't be a complete smug arglebargle "punching up" cheap shot extravaganza unless we can get Melissa Harris-Perry to guffaw at Babs' test results.

Previously Jessica was able to keep off serious weight using this innovative diet in which she was required to successfully long snap whatever she was eating to Tony Romo before taking a bite out of it.

As the Pennsylvania Nazi political analysts say, the state is Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and Poland in between.

I dunno, trollery is kind of over-diagnosed. He could just be a dum-dum. Dum-dummery is the foremost affirmative defense against the mens rea element of trollery. If the defendant can show that the incendiary posts originate from reckless vernacular or poor sourcing, he can usually plea the charge down to…

As long as it's not you, right, asshole?

No, I made it up. Also, there is no Santa.

This might work. Just last weekend, hundreds of thousands of blaze orange Cheeseheads swarmed into Culvers across the state of Whizzconsin and bellowed vowels until the Packers agreed to reinstate Rodgers this week.

"Hey Mistah Obama! I gotta note!"

That first phrase of the first sentence is goddamn brilliant and describes like half of the soapbox comments on this website.

The difference is that by demonizing this demographic and disempowering them by undermining the insane rural bias of the Constitution, liberals will hopefully pass legislation that will improve the welfare of the sympathetically poor among them. (Although I don't know why anyone of color would give two shits about…

Cutler or McCown?

Girls' bones don't break any FASTER than boys' bones, but I've found that once broken, they make far better toothpicks.

Have you seen data on whether criminalizing johns would increase or decrease trafficking? Because in one instance you would have only lawbreakers hiring prostitutes, ostensibly leading to a shadier business situation, and in the other you have the possibility of demand outstripping the supply of sex workers, opening…

You could buy a lot of lottery tickets with $550 mil.

That's Heisenberg levels of purity right there.