I haven’t seen a pitch this weak since Jim Abbott’s RHP experiment.

Instructions unclear. Added Dwayne Johnson as my new K.

OPS facts

prove it

This team somehow won the title even though I don’t know who any of these men are. It’d also be fun to look back and pick your favorite team name ever. Mine is The Sharon McDowells, named after my friend’s super hot mom.

I can’t believe people booed him in practice. That’s so sad. Why must football fans be so Finkle?

Hello. I request a recurring series containing all Feinberg story pitches that never see the light of day. I would chuckle most contentedly.

What’s the best headline you’ve ever written? Did it get published?

When is Deadspin Staff, Ranked getting published? And why is Albert last? That seems pretty mean. I like him.

When dad came home from a long trip but didn’t bring gifts.

Thanks for holding the mirror to my face, Barry. I need a shower.

I don’t know if it’s nerves or elevation or both, but I always have to fart like the fat kid in Little Giants whenever I’m on an airplane. I also never hold those bad boys in. Life’s too short, man. Let it fly and play it cool.

Matisyahu is indeed rly fun and good, and thus, Giri Nathan is rly good as well. Puja is rly bad.

Cute couple, but not nearly as perfect as Jonathan Villar and Brandon Phillips.

I asked this question to my colleagues and their heads exploded. What if you could only own one movie from each decade? My list looks like this.

Fuck Mei. All hail Lucio. Good day.

kchapman_88 is now the EIC of Barstool Sports.

The Cardinals have lost 22 games. Jorge Soler’s number is 68. Michael Wacha’s number is 52.

I’m going to cut off Barry’s arms and use them for my hair transplant.

Dibs on this one. Spoiler: it’ll probably just be 100 gifs of A-Rod rubbing his lumber.