Jester King is worthy of that title, not Shiner - which was an amazingly cheap beer in college.

"And that's why Robert Horry was and remains the seventh greatest NBA player of all time."

Why's it always gotta be about violence with you rednecks?

The cool thing is, this also works as a Phish setlist.

Best Klans In Baseball

Certainly better packaging!

Well, there was this...

Listen, last month you overhauled your entire comment system to prevent people from posting stomach-churning images of overweight whores shoveling a bunch of diarrhea into their mouths, and now you're doing it yourselves? Make up your mind!

Clearly Rich's handicap is anger.

Chicago Bears: Brad Biggs, Chicago Tribune

MY DUDE, YOU WERE CAUGHT IN THE WILD WEARING A TANK TOP AND BLAZER. PLEASE SIT YOUR ASS DOWN.

I wasn't going to post this, but Greg apparently creepshotted me and in general has organized his thoughts and arguments exactly like a middle school bully. So, the author, in his everyday wardrobe:

You misspelled "I'm insufferable," Greg.

I'm wearing pants right now, because I am a grown-ass man with a career.

You're not cool Greg. Please correct this portion of your story.

This article is so stupid that I'm going to close my browser and get back to work.

The least cool thing you could ever do is write and publish an article in which you call your boss "cool."

You say "I am cool" so many times, it's almost like you're trying to convince yourself.

Shorts can be cool if done right. You know what's not cool? Swamp ass. That's not cool. That's why sometimes, shorts are needed.