Due to poor clock management most of Scandinavia won’t get their presents until the 27th.

Can we talk about the fact that U of Michigan accepted this guy even though he has an IQ of maybe 80? No joke here, just always astounded by how really, really dumb he is every time I hear him speak.

This times a thousand. It’s incredible how awful the live game experience is unless you are getting aggressively drunk. It’s not just alcohol, I love alcohol, it’s that the worst kinds of drunks are empowered to set the tone and culture of an NFL game.

The NFL actually makes baseball look fun and fluid. I’d rather watch a procedural on making twine than watch the unbearable mess that is NFL.

I also forgot that people can buy a 50" HD TV for like $10 now, and can flip between multiple games/redzone, so why the hell would they want to go to a stadium in the middle of nowhere to get pissed on by a jerkoff fan who’ll try to stab them after the game?

You forgot color block uniforms, Blaine Gabbert and $12 for Miller Lite.

It has to be uppity black people. It certainly isn’t the cost of tickets/parking/concessions; poor responses to domestic violence and brain trauma; that no one knows what a catch is; that the league’s punishment is inconsistent and makes the commissioner look like a idiot; that the league has saturated the market with…

Richardson was apparently very disappointed to learn he had to sell the whole team rather than each player individually.

The Browns would shit their own dicks off to have the level of sustained mediocrity the Bengals have had over the past 15 years.

Uhhh... hey there lucky-ass white criminal... maybe don’t utter threats to people in a very public setting. If you think you’re safe because he’s black, he’s Jay-Z, he’s got more sway than your pot-belly.

Mark Davis either sleeps in a bed shaped like a race car or on a bed made from the skin of missing women.

I reeeeeaaaalllly hope it’s with men. I mean, we’re all not lucky enough for that, but it would be nice.

A man who only made all his restaurants desegregate because it started hurting the stock price and looks like the bad guy in a puppet Christmas special is a monster? Total shock here

He molested Papa John over a bowl of green peppers

Fuck the police. I have nothing else to say.

I was huge early on, ended up at 6'5", and totally pacifistic, and nerdy which made me a huge target. I was told I could hurt people on accident, so I just let the bullies get bolder and bolder. They robbed elderly neighbors, set fires, fastballed handfuls of BBs into my face.

After about the tenth retweet, I just started to assume something like this was true. It just reeks of scam from the start. If not a scam, then clueless parenting. I mean, if your kid is getting bullied at school, then posting a video online of them crying is definitely going to help them out right?

Heard the accent, thought Tennessee, and my immediate reaction was, possible racists, please don’t be. Please be true to the idea that it’s wrong to demean people different from you.

Golf Cart isn’t a bad option. Look what it did in Dallas:

That's clearly not Santa. -Megyn Kelly.