To play Devil's Advocate and defend what he was trying to say...

"Oh no, it might add $0.12 to each shit-tastic pizza I make! How will I compete Ayn Rand Obummercare TaxedEnough RABBLE!"

Are you shitting me? That's an actual house that the douche who makes just-barely edible "pizza" lives in? Fuck my life. I'm clearly doing it wrong.

Looks like a weird flacid dick.

Peyton Manning would vote yes. Don't piss
off Peyton Manning. Dude can buy and sell
our asses 1000 times over. We're talking
pizza - and no one has more influence than
Big Pizza. If you don't vote yes, they'll stop
at nothing to cut off our supply of two-
liter Cokes and crazy breads. You want that
laying on your conscious?…

I swear, if Mike Francesca isn't the next nominee up for vote, I'm going to crank call him again.

Papa John belongs in the DHOF, but not for getting drunk. He has earned enshrinement for running a company with $3 billion a year in sales and crying about paying for his employees health insurance. To complain about providing decent benefits when you have a personal net worth of around $400 million takes some…

Should we put Brady Anderson in the baseball hall of fame? NO!! Also, yes to this.

You mean people who aren't racist dicks?

+47%

"They need more bayonets"

By 2028 Jerry's probably going to be fielding a team that consists of a 48 year old Tony Romo and 52 wide receivers.

All hail the MAC lineman. Not big enough to go to Ohio State, but big enough to stop by your house and collect your gambling losses.

What do you have to do to get banned from Fenway? Say complimentary things about black people?

"Does this Shawn Andrews story make me kind of a dick? Yes or no?"

It's just nice to see an article containing "Upper Deck" and "Plummeting" that doesn't mention my Chris Sabo rookie card collection.

This is basically three DC-area stories in one: