I had one regular who used to do that, and I loved him for it. Why? Because he never, ever removed a one. He ADDED bills if he thought you were extra-awesome. (He started with about a 10% tip—it was the late 80s in a small town down South, so 10% was pretty common—and I think I never got less than 20% from him.)

People who play games with tips are the very worst. I used to work at a live music venue. When the doors opened, we got immediately slammed, so customers might have to wait a few minutes to order/receive their first round. We had SO MANY self-entitled assholes pull the "I was gonna tip you $5 (no you weren't) but I…

Assholes are assholes and will always find a way to be so, I guess. I once had a guy tell me to pick the green olives out of his pasta (our olives are a sliced mix of green and black—not something you can really sift through) and threaten to have me fired when I pointed out that it was the lunch rush, there were 30…

He goes on to explain that every time a "waitress" does something he doesn't like, he takes a dollar off the stack and puts it back in his wallet. According to him, this guarantees EXCELLENT "waitress" behavior.

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EMBRACE THE FRECKLES!!!

Oh god, I swear I had Coffee Latte's husband the other day. Never in my life have I felt the stupidity ratio in a room rise so rapidly as when this guy opened his mouth.

Obviously the steak fajitas had not been grilled enough. The longer you grill them, the more tender they become. Look it up.

She left her ass all lumpy, lol.

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At first, I was like, "oh geez, what is she doing?" But she played that so hard I was in love with her by the end. She owns her roles in a way that not a lot of SNL players do. There is absolutely no self-doubt in there, she takes the role and does it to her fullest and I love that about her.

I was once pro-choice. A medical school friend invited me to see an abortion performed and I went. It's murder.

What Chuck really meant was he had a friend who once WALKED through a med-school. Dumb liberal abortion truthers.

My mother is a medical examiner. She has people contact her about wanting to observe an autopsy. She has to explain every time that autopsies are not a form of entertainment, that the person she is performing an autopsy on was once alive and has family, friends etc still living, that it's a gross violation of that…

Blue Ivy says to lay off the women finding financial independence through entrepreneurship.

She probably doesn't know a thing about it (or very little) and this is action taken by her lawyers charged with protecting her brand.

Sometimes I feel that people like this go into a place LOOKING to make a federal case out of some small slight. All that agita over a seating arrangement and on top of it they had a $50 Groupon. They weren't going to be good customers anyway. The repugnant and repeated use of "retarded" as an insult makes me think…

For FUCKS sake, assholes. "I don't like your coworker, so I've decided you shouldn't get paid." THATS LOGIC.