I definitely have those same categories. My other favorite type on these sites are the women whose profiles suggest they are looking for people without histories or baggage. My thought is always “shit lady, we’re fucking 40. We’ve all been through some stuff by now. Don’t look for a clean slate, you should be looking…

Hahaha... so you’re saying I should rewrite it then! Sincerely thank you, because well I’m an oblivious ass and definitely didn’t think it would come off quite like that. Also, that’s certainly not the way I view myself; I just suck at describing myself. Assuming all of my photos are varied and decent... how about:

“I…

As a 40yo man who’s on Tinder as well, so I’d be in your target audience... short answer is if you were in DC I’d swipe right on that profile. You’re sharing personality traits that actually reveal a little bit about you, and you keep your “what I’m looking for” to positive things. I also like that you share that…

So much the same... everyone hates how shallow society is, but then they give you nothing to judge them on other than how they look in the photo of her in a bikini or a cocktail dress.

I think I used to see rifle pics as “I like to hunt...’ but now I just see it as code for ‘far right ideologue’ which turns me off far more. Everything that even hints at Trumpism in a profile gives me anxiety.

Yeah... I definitely put that I have kids. It’s probably the single biggest thing about me. I have mine 50% of the time. That doesn’t mean I’m never willing to get a babysitter when they’re with me, but if someone can’t understand that I have a couple little people that depend on me and are going to be my priority…

Should we all workshop each other’s profiles here?

Here’s mine (40yo for reference):

I have to strongly recommend the “go slowly” point. Single dad here, and the vast majority of the time I find myself snapping needlessly at the kids is when we’re getting ready to head out the door for work/school. The thing is, we’re never actually late (we’re just less early than I normally target), and even if we…

I’d add burgers and fries from whatever shitty fast food place someone ran through. I love burgers and fries; I even love the smell, but goddamn that’s an overwhelming smell in an airplane. 

You know you laughed.

I just fucking snorted, and I work in an open office... many looks.

While ‘person of color’ often seems to be an important factor in unwritten rules violations; you have to accept that Strickland is an equal opportunity bullshit enforcer. He waited three fucking years to throw at Bryce for enjoying mammoth dongs too much. The fact that he broke his hand punching a door after this…

Anyone who has been around dogs “enough” knows that a happy doggo that brings you a ball is a dog that is not going to bite you. Dogs aren’t cats; they’ll let you know if they’re going to fuck you up long before they do.

I’m going to start off by saying that I’m extremely fortunate... I have a well paying job that is very flexible. I have the ability to work from home when I need to because of stuff with kids, or just because I want to. I have a boss that doesn’t focus on hours, so much as productivity... and I take advantage of that.…

Except those two espresso machines would have vastly different capabilities; this doesn’t appear to do anything that a french press can’t other than take a lot longer to filter.

Except those two espresso machines would have vastly different capabilities; this doesn’t appear to do anything that…

Yes... Melba is Clarissa.

These puns are so cheesy.

He *did* step forward out of the basepath and was still blindsided.

Oh, ok... I was watching at work without sound because I didn’t feel like putting my headphones on. I think he had to have just misspoken, but there are weirder rules in baseball (see also: balk) than that would be if it somehow was a non-pitch.

I have this on my bed, and it is pretty comfy; but it’s not waterproof. Which isn’t a thing I thought I needed to worry about as a 40 year old man. Then I went to my friend’s wedding last weekend, got really drunk, and peed the bed. Fuck me... I can’t believe that happened, let along that I’m telling all of you; but…

I have this on my bed, and it is pretty comfy; but it’s not waterproof. Which isn’t a thing I thought I needed to…