Y’all keep acting like Gase is some weirdo freak but doing at bumps at work because you only slept three hours the night before and have already drank enough coffee in the morning to tear a hole through your stomach lining is about the most New York thing imaginable.

Ah fuck off.

Please stay away from all dogs and other animals.  

Yeah, animal abuse is totally okay because people are suffering somewhere too. JFC.

Naw, that’s literally you. Come from poverty and still manage to care about both humans and dogs, and absolutely would not abuse one. Maybe it’s regional, or cultural, or -al I can’t think of off the top of my head. Not trying to make you feel bad or anything here, just don’t want to be lumped in that.

But it’s not a…

I live near Yellowstone and the number of idiots who get too close to bison and other wildlife is mind-boggling. And the Park Service has signs everywhere telling them not to.

-1 eye

They were unapologetically American. Brash and confident. They came in as the favorite and they didn’t try to downplay that fact with an “Aww shucks we’re just happy to be here and we’re gonna try real hard.” attitude. They owned that and then danced on the graves of anybody who dared doubt them. And it was fucking…

his mom’s cooter and subpar implant placement

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

For real my life goal is to visit McConnell’s grave and spit on it.  I don’t feel that way about any other human, even Trump.

This is why you always fasten the shelf brackets to the wall studs. Because bears.

A bear in the closet. And during pride month?!?!

There’s one really good, foolproof way to ensure that strangers don’t overfeed your cat with inappropriate food.

To be fair it is still a dangerous substance that can cause real health problems to people so it’s understandable that authorities would want to investigate and punish people for its use.

When do we reach peak streaming? How many services can the average viewer reasonably adopt?

Gabe, I couldn’t agree with you more. Had they trusted the ball like that to me in those situations, I would have risen up and baked the bacon. I’m talking really thrown it down. All these jump shots from the millenials these days. Bollocks. Slam the butter. I’d be upset too but after a chryogenic shower and some…

Morality and legality are two separate things. Are you really an adult in 2019 and don’t understand this? Apologies if you’re actually 14.

If you can’t afford to tip 20% then you can’t afford to eat out.

Look, if it’s out of ignorance, then it’s not a big deal. It’s more the idea that you shouldn’t have to tip for something that’s overpriced that was making me angry, as though people think beer vendors at a baseball stadium are really living the high life.