Do you know why I remain a Patriots fan Drew? Because of my father. I lived in Maine my entire childhood and teenage years. I remember the shit years, the years where Velcro on the gloves wouldn’t have helped the receivers make catches. For years we were the butts of the NFL. Then suddenly Mo Lewis knocks out Bledsoe…

Pats “got caught cheating” the same way Hillary “got caught” murdering diplomats in Benghazi. That’s why we call it Ballghazi.

Go fuck myself? *Jerks off to the Superbowl highlights* drew, shoulda thought that through more!

I mean yeah sure he didn’t even belong on the team until this year, but he should have been the quarterback. Obviously.

Oh, exactly...Obama’s wars. How could I forget when 9/11 happened on his watch so he went to war in Afghanistan in 2001; and then when he declared a Global War on Terror and went into Iraq in 2003 (which totally did 9/11 and had nukes) way back when he was actually President George W. Bush. And then when he got an…

Trump is just as bad as Hillary guys! The DNC cheated Bernie so let’s protest vote! Let’s stay home! They both suck equally!

I’d start by disowning any friends and family you have who have ever voted Republican

When angry, Arsène grows to three times his normal size, as long as he’s wearing a puffy jacket.

I referred to a couple guys as “hipsters” the other day and boy did they get upset. Apparently the politically correct term is “conjoined twins”.

Went to a bar in Chicago, total hipster neighborhood, to meet up with friends. Some rail thin bartender with a handlebar mustache scoffed at me when I asked him if what his favorite beer was, like I was supposed to know. So now I go to my corporate job every single day and I will move up the management ladder until…

Yah, well

First they came for the Eggos, and I cried not, “Leggo!”

Millenniums don’t even have to pay their dues before getting massive payouts and that’s why they are soft. Bill Belichik had to work for THIRTY YEARS in the rock smashing factory before anyone even allowed him into the room where you can look at a football. The only thing these Millenniums are DISRUPTING is hard work.…

And by the time next season starts, he’ll be 40 years old.

“Clinton tries to ally herself with the “common folk,” but she comes of as pandering and fake. Trump does it too, but at least he seems real, especially when he is eating KFC.”

Clicked on this story to find Tomsula’s phone number because I need some alterations done on my grey suit and I hear his work is okay and his rates are good. But of course, his phone number is nowhere to be found. More fucking clickbait.

He’s tried to make me geaux to rehab
I won’t geaux, geaux, geaux.