My transfer applications are due on April 1st, which is mildly terrifying me.

MEEE! Last year my roommate and I duct taped our third roommate into her bed while she slept. Then we mashed up a special K bar with some peanut butter and nutella, shaped it into a chunky log, and left it on the bathroom sink in a plastic bag labeled "stool sample #3324 Dr Martinez".

My grandmother faked sick to get out of work once. Which isn't that unusual. What's unusual is that she faked appendicitis, went to a real doctor, and was so convincing with her acting that he PERFORMED A SURGERY TO REMOVE HER PERFECTLY HEALTHY APPENDIX.

My grandmother faked sick to get out of work once. Which isn't that unusual. What's unusual is that she faked appendicitis, went to a real doctor, and was so convincing with her acting that he PERFORMED A SURGERY TO REMOVE HER PERFECTLY HEALTHY APPENDIX.

I have a 3rd-or-4th cousin in Sweden who got me to eat ants with him when I was ~7 and he was ~9. He told me they tasted like lemon candy, and like, they were sour like lemons? Just not sweet. Somehow I convinced myself to go along with it. This wasn't a prank, he was eating them too - he genuinely thought sitting…

"it was a kidney and it belonged to Liam, before it went missing."

I think he had the best voice, but that's obv subjective. The actual lead singer (Harry) has a louder, brassier, and less acrobatic voice, and I get why he was picked as lead singer over Zayn. Zayn has a pretty high pitched voice and he's a boss at vocal runs and tricks and things, but his voice can be too delicate…

WHAt the fuck Florida

I thought about voting for restaurants and then remembered I cook. Restaurants are not the only source of good food, but there is no replacement for sex :P

But I would 100% rather be friends with you just fwiw

I'm wondering if she actually said "casein" and Our Narrator misheard her. That is the least bananas/most likely sounding option.

I don't even like bread and I want to eat this.

My high school choir went on a week long trip once and we suddenly realized we were hungry... but I think the number of kids who actually went into this diner can't have exceeded 20? Probably closer to 15? And in our defence we were 15-18 year olds with disorganized chaperones. And hungry. I had clam strips and…

I'm a 32AA and I only wear sports bras because normal bras can't do anything for my teeny bewbs. Neeeever had a bra problem.

The cab company in my town SUCKS - so unreliable. You'll call for a cab and then an hour later get a call apologizing for the fact that they forgot to send the cab. Über actually shows up and takes you places, and it's cheaper. Also I'm 19 and I've magically never been so much as catcalled, so I guess my woman fear…

Shop in the children's section! 75% of the time nobody can even tell, and it's almost always cheaper.

I thought humanism WAS atheism. Well, that's what it used to actually mean before it was co-opted by anti-feminists for some bananas reason.

Yeah - not sure what kind of surgery this would require and what risks it would involve. I'd assumed it wouldn't need to be implanted very deep, making it more like a tattoo, but I am talking out of my butt and have really no idea. I've also been assuming that if this is going to happen at all it'll come with a…

Yeah - my best friend is just like that. She and I are eerily identical and she's told me her curiosity about what her kids would look like will probably be satisfied by seeing my kids, so she's good. No judgement haha. Obviously both of us are "natural" ways of being, and the human race hasn't died out yet.

Yeah, I'm one of the freaky ones. This has been my life for the past 3.5 years: