Lol! Hasn't Jared been through enough? 

Now I gotta go read up on the “meet me in Temecula” fight.

When I was fifteen my mom still mashed my fish up and pulled all of the bones out so I wouldn’t choke.

My sister decided to run away when she was five. Packed a suitcase full of dolls, a banana, and ONE pair of underwear. Made it to the top of the street and then came home.

Gosh, no matter what store you visit you see Kate Spade items. From Nordstrom’s to Marshalls. I see her without fail Everytime I go shopping.

Me too. And I was only eight.

Clover, I love ya but I had to stop reading after you Ummmm’d The Cool Kids having anyone worth caring about. I can’t trust your judgement on tv shows now. David Alan“Hated It”Grier, Vicki“Mama”Lawrence, Martin Mull, Leslie Jordan, and Charlie freaking Day!! I know it seems a touch corny but that is right up my alley.…

I’m no royal but I’d be scared to death walking that entire, long ass aisle by myself. All of those eyes on me. Ugh, I don’t know how people do it.

Damn you fine! And look at that melanin. Poppin. I’m sure that the ancestors approve.

Yes you can.

I was asked to give a speech for my church’s mental health awareness group. I was so freaked out that I over prepared and wrote my speech a month in advance. I asked my psychologist for a prescription for beta blockers too. I wasn’t screwing around. O told the head of the group that I was freaking out so she prayed…

I’mall about the Flonase. My three year old niece is with me today because her daycare banned her for a couple of days, swearing that she as pink eye. Took her to the doctor and it’s allergies. Her eyes look like we punched her.

I have a childhood friend on IG who has named her pussy sunshine. All damn day I gotta see pictures of her talking about how sunshine is so sweet and how sunshine is ready for sundress weather. Other than that, she’s a pretty miserable person who complains about her kids too much.

Ad he’s been talking about this for a long time. It’s not like it’s new.

No she didn’t!!! I’m about to go and lovingly stare at my box set in your honor.

If I see the words “no angel” pop up, I won’t be one bit surprised.

“Criminal minds is on!” LMAO! My mama loves that show and makes incredible potato salad.

I’m a woman and I’m ashamed to say that I’ve never really thought about men’s urinal habits. I never really thought about y’all having to maneuver and hold old fella in your hands. Dear God I feel stupid. And I don’t think I’ll ever look at man’s hands the same when I see him exiting the restroom. Who in hell would…

I’m sure she will eventually. She’s in love. Most of us have to go through this bullshit knuckle head loving phase. She will leave when he inevitably cheats again and then she and her baby can live in peace.

Look, a week is too long for me to be waiting on the next installment. I’mma need some midweek updates or something. Lol.