To be fair, the university didn't say that-the judge did. The freaking judge. Which is even worse in my opinion.

WORD. However, this statement reflects the thought of the institution from the beginning: Protect Penn State at all costs.

And did he tell you that he never really loved you in the first place? Because it seems to me that every single one of these assholes do that whether they leave before the wedding or a dozen years after the wedding. (P.S. I am trying to make you feel better, but I also know that hearing that you are better off…

WOWSERS, WHAT a DOUCHE. I know its hard, but you ARE better off without that dickwad, trust me, and it's good that you actually did not waste more than two years. I wasted 13 YEARS with my mistake, and possible lost my chance at having kids. My douchenozzle ex had two affairs before I wised up and left his ass. After…

As a gay man, I take offense to your suggestion that I am a real human being with feelings and needs and wants. Perish the thought. We (and I can speak for all gay men, because we are also a homogenous group) like being this decade's Hot New Accessory. Thanks, Sex and the City.

Or the History Channel "Women's Health and the Third Reich"

Pink tools have an unexpected side benefit:

I work in man-land (I guess we all do...)and I have a bright pink Igloo lunch pail. I think I'm the only person in the whole Forest Service that has one of those.

Lana Del Rey vs. Lady Gaga: The greatest epic feud since my shit got into a fight with vomit over which one is better on toast.

One of my husband's best friends just recently came out. Manly dude, no fashion sense, into cars, etc. He is the exact same dude, just with a hot and equally fashion challenged 10 year boyfriend. Waitresses get very confused when it's time to break out the check. We have made gay men "exotic" when they are just…

Isn't that just the oddest? People sometimes don't even know they're lying! I sometimes wonder if I do it, too. They think that they're really into something, because they want to be into something, but they just aren't.

Yeah, that's definitely an issue... I tried to avoid those stealth racists by phrasing it along the lines of:

Yup, when I was online dating last year, I saw so many women with long ass "deal breaker" lists that essentially read like a laundry list of things they didn't like about their ex. Like "Oh, and if a guy forgets your birthday and then says 'but I'm all the present you need, baby' that's a huge deal breaker ARE YOU…

Ugh, NO. Just because he mentored Sheryl Sandberg doesn't mean he gets a pass. And...I don't like his face. Yes, the least one is illogical, but the man is a screw up in a myriad of ways.

Which makes a certain amount of sense, considering I'd always assumed his agenda was to turn The Handmaid's Tale into reality.

I hate the idea of getting a "black friend". We are not unicorns or legendary pokemon. I remember meeting my white friend's college friends. Their friends to my white friends were all like, "Good for you for having a Black friend". And my friend told me that she said to them, "No she is just Platypus*" I am not her…

I bought our car DESPITE my husband's input, thank you very much. He wanted to sign over our first, second and third-born children and I got them to knock off an additional thou by walking away. Not to toot my own horn, but tootie fuckin' toot toot.

And it ended on a Christmas episode what the fuck is that??? The Christmas episode always comes mid-season! They jerked the rug right out from under me with that pacing.

At least it's an actual Netflix show and they'll just air season 2 when it's ready. I won't be stuck hearing a bunch of spoilers, as I know will…

Thank god there is a spawn to continue this archaic and pointless institution.

Long-Distance relationships may be good.

But No-Knowledge relationships are even better!

I've been dating Eva Mendes, Ryan Gosling, and Elizabeth Warren for years now. Years. None of them know it, of course, but that hasn't hurt the relationships at all. If anything, Not Knowing only makes our bonds stronger.