Arch3m
Cake Tank!
Arch3m

Okay, I’m gonna give it a week and try to be positive. I remember when this happened last time, and how bad the reception was then, but we all adapted eventually. Well, some of us installed plug-ins to change the format back, but not all of us! Eventually, this will stop looking like a mess and start looking like an

Well, it’s not like the previous iteration was any good. I swear, every few years, their web designers decide to find the best way to make the site harder to look at. I almost can’t remember a time when the layout was decent.

I think that a lot of people see it as: “Make your own Mario, because we’re not gonna!”, “Infinite levels made by 8-year-olds with no sense of level design and/or 40-year-olds who are obsessed with kaizo levels!”, or “We recycled another game onto the Switch!”. Not that any of these things are really true (maybe the

For a hack-n-slash, it looks really slow. The controls look like they’re meant for a shooter, too. That just adds a clunky nature to the game that doesn’t need to be there. It’s practically tank controls, and I don’t think anyone is really looking for that in their action games.

A couple of buddies and I picked this up earlier and played a few rounds, and we had a blast. It’s exactly the kind of game I need right now, too. It’s simple, charming, simultaneously super casual and super tense, and it’s just good, clean fun. It definitely has that Mario Party vibe to it, which is great, too. I

Wow, I had some serious whiplash looking at this one. At first I was sure the guy was real. Then I saw him clip behind the crowd, and I was confident it was from a video game glitch. “Wow”, I thought, “Games sure look realistic these days”. Then I watched it again and finally realized the truth: It’s just a CG crowd

Well, at least they’re acknowledging that the franchise exists. I don’t really care for anime, and I really just want another entry in the series, so while I likely won’t pay much attention to it, I can’t complain too much. It’s a shame that it’s probably a ploy to see if there’s a market for a new entry.

This is a weird thing for me to agree with, given the anachronism of it all.

I’d say a small part of the problem is insisting on referring to the medium as “anime” instead of allowing it to be just “animation”. It certainly has its own culture and style to it, but any other animation from any other background is just animation with added context when it’s important.

Not a fact.

When I saw the first listed specs, I assumed they were for the $1700 model. Then I kept scrolling and saw that was their top-of-the-line, $3300 model. What the fuck. They could cut these prices in half and it would look like the competition’s machines.

It would seem that they’re not giving up on trying to get the entire original soundtrack into the game. Awesome. Here’s hoping they can secure the last three tracks.

9 times out of 10, yes. I don’t know how to say it without it sounding like some dumb flex, but after playing games my whole life, I don’t get much challenge out of most games without cranking things up to hard. A few games do go too far for me (one-hit deaths, no checkpoints, you only live once, infinite respawning

Good choice, kid.

Thank you.

Best platformer. Celeste is my actual favorite, but Odyssey is my favorite 3D platformer. And of course, everyone’s entitled to their opinions. “Better for everyone” isn’t how I would describe any of my picks, though. Everyone has different tastes, play-style preferences, and ability levels, so everyone’s best might

I don’t believe Metroidvanias should be included in a list of platformers. While jumping is involved in navigating the environments, mastering the jump is rarely crucial to success. The games are usually more about exploration and combat with the actual platforming just being a vehicle for the main action to occur. It’

Given the love that Celeste was getting when it came out, I’m a bit surprised to hear of someone who hasn’t at least heard of it. It’s a spectacularly well-made indie platformer, and it’s on pretty much every game platform by now. I have it on PC and on Switch, I’ve beaten it twice on Switch, and three times on PC

Well, my list stood fairly steady for two decades, but then along came Super Mario Odyssey and Celeste, and everything changed. It’s almost a shame that I have to push out some classics because of these two, but top three is top three.