This is a ridiculous post, put forth by a ridiculous individual that does not under stand the premise of proper chili consumption!

Stop with the absolutes! It depends, chili on burgers, nachos and dogs, I prefer without. Chili in a bowl, as a soup, needs beans.

I went from thinking about tampons to this instantaneously:

They're the most watched news channel because their target demographic is the only group left that gets their news from television.

Saying you're the most-watched News Channel is a bit disingenuous. Very few people who are not 1) older and 2) white actually watch Fox News, or even TV news at all. As that demographic dies off, so too will Fox News' viewership.

You left out most of them, but here they are: Make decisions for him. Wash him. Provide him with sustenance. Give him a surprise gift. Hug him.

This! My guy will hug me from behind, and while cute for the first two seconds, gets old real quick because he tends to lean into it and I, being smaller, have to work to hold myself up and he just... lingers there while I'm kind of in pain. He also does this when he pulls me over to him or lean-hugs when we're…

Somehow the topic of who would be present in the delivery room for my hypothetical future childbirth came up (Mr. Boom and I want kids soon-ish), and my mother was completely shocked and horrified when I said that I only wanted my husband with me. Sorry mom, but the last person in the world I want present for my most…

Here's a handy tip, try not to leave other people out of the conversation! They probably give an equal zero fuck about your shitty kid.

"Why is a boy or man more likely to molest than a girl or woman?"

Why do you care more about the giving of the gift, rather than how it makes the recipient feel?

That is not the point. If you want to pick up a dinner tab, fine. Thank you.

Do not tick off the Sovereign.

Annoying! If it was a place where I was a regular, I'd DEFINITELY say something.

So it does grow back!

So basically, I should do everything possible to boost my man's ego, do 20x the work to fulfill his every desire, and never complain or be upset about anything because what man wants to deal with that, right?

When I was a teen girl, I had a lot more questions about other girls than I did about what to do with guys. Occasionally I wanted to know if someone was flirting with me or not, but I have to say that most of my person Top 100 Questions would have been like,

"Q. He asked me to pay for our lunch.
A. Do not jump to conclusions. He may have just been short of money. If he asks you once, go ahead and pay for it and forget it. If he keeps asking you, pay for it and forget him. It is best not to make an issue of it. Slip the money to him in advance and do not make a public…

pretty much

Wow, this analogy got away from me.