Give to charity? Please, no! PRESENTS!!!!!

Two teams I loathe - the Steelers and the Giants - are self-immolating for the dumbest of reasons, while at least one team I wish nothing but the best for - the Browns - is on the upswing? This is so delicious, it has to be fattening.

“Don’t quit on talent,”

For posterity:

So, since Lori Loughlin is involved, is it fair to say that this scandal is everywhere you look?

maybe Our Dumb President is right and the Jets really are too complicated to operate

It’s the All-Hockey Hair Team; I don’t see “Boys” specified anywhere

See? Despite being all critical and “The Blue Jays should be trying to win and give their fans something to be excited by” Deadspin never mentions the positive aspects of keeping Guerrero in the minors. For instance, with what they pay Minor Leaguers, he won’t be able to afford three meals a day. 

“See, this is why I stay a virgin.” — Mark Davis

“Nobody believed in us.”

This team really is committed to illegally getting stuff released from their balls.

The Academy should just unfuck up the nominations and give Toni Collette the damn award for Hereditary and then give Mahershala Ali it for the first half of this season of True Detective.

I’m so tired of this trope that college athletes get free tuition. They don’t. They WORK for that tuition, and for large programs, bring in dollars that are not, in the end commensurate with that tuition. They are still expected to go to class, while training and traveling and playing. Staying in a hotel year round…

“Move to another country if you don’t like being taken advantage of” is a pretty shitty argument when a much more rational and morally appropriate response would be “let’s stop letting a billion dollar organization take advantage of these kids.”

this guy is really becoming an eyesore 

That’s how long it took to find a pack of Kent IIIs, he said

DREW I HELD MY POOP IN FOR WEEKS WAITING FOR YOU TO COME BACK SO I CAN HAVE A GREAT MOMENT IN POOP HISTORY

Yeah, if there’s one thing LeBron has been able to do the last couple years, it’s rely on his teammates.

Some poor website manager is going to be so confused when she sees the traffic spike from all the Deadspinners googling “Binghampton Rumble Pony.”

I can’t tear my eyes off of Eric Gordon’s reaction in that GIF.