Out indefinitely: He left the path

Seriously, all that just to go to FLORIDA? Hard pass.

Fuck off.

Nathan Poon? The Comanche Indian?

Seriously, this is like bragging that you’re going to defeat Rommel in battle because you once vanquished Custer.

I eagerly await Zion’s official debut, where he’ll score 27 points on 9-for-9 shooting with zero rebounds, zero blocks, and zero steals.

I was a pretty mediocre cross country runner in high school, basically doing it to stay in shape for basketball. But I did manage to win a race when the guy in front of me (who was dusting me by a good 100 yards or so) took a wrong turn about a half-mile from the finish line.

Winning by default is still winning!

Remember when Jon drank dog semen?

My favorite Martin Short story came from hearing Catherine O’Hara talk about the old days of SCTV. They would be doing table reads, deciding which sketches were funny enough to air. They all knew that if it was a Martin Short sketch, it didn’t matter if they thought it was funny at table read. She said something to…

I think his point was that Choo should’ve been tagging up from the moment the ball hit the bat. It’s inexcusable that he wasn’t.

Between Burneko calling people “butt” with no analysis, and this trash, I’m just avoiding all deadspin hoops takes.

Because it’s awesome. He obviously knows it’s not technically a catch -- hence the “rules be damned” line.

As I’m reading this, it has 69 recs. I want to click the button to add to it, but the current symmetry is too perfect.

Why would I hire an average backup QB who’s slightly better than most other average backup QBs when he comes with a ton of baggage, set to blow up the whole team at some point during the season?

Mike Marshall (the crappy 80s outfielder, not the 70s reliever).

I love that the third baseman gave him a high five. Little League can be so awesome.

The weekend morning tradeoff is a lifesaver. We have two kids (3 and 5), and my wife and I have done that since our oldest was about 8 months old. It does so much for your mental well-being to know, when you go to bed, that you’ll be able to sleep in for as long as you want the next morning. Even if you don’t take…

[cums] — Pete Carroll

Ex-Cavs GM David Griffin has pulled his name out of the Knicks’ GM and president search after he couldn’t come