Death didn’t come for Kirk Douglas. Kirk Douglas decided it was time that Death quit hiding from him.

And despite your corporate overlords telling you to stick to sports, I hope Deadspin never does because

and I can’t emphasize this enough

I come to Deadspin BECAUSE YOU DON’T JUST STICK TO SPORTS

even though its almost 40 years old, that song doesn’t get enough love.

Must be visiting BYU

He is Adam Gase’s autocorrected second cousin, once removed.

“He’s the nicest kid in the world”

Now starting at Left Tackle...Pierre Delecto.

Goodfellas is probably my favorite movie entirely because it depicts wiseguys as complete degenerate pieces of shit who get what's coming to them at the end. Your take is idiotic.

The movie came out in 1973, the time in which spoilers matter is debatable but definitely less that 46 fucking years.

Far as you know.

Elizabeth’s grandpa sounds great. The McRib detail really elevates it.

Used to get so pumped for ’Skins wearing away burgundy jerseys in Dallas on Thanksgiving.

DeNiro is so goddamn good in Mean Streets. You spend the entire movie just wanting to slap the shit out of him. He plays “that fucking guy who ruins everything running his mouth” to perfection, and yet it’s still an absolute shock when he gets what’s coming to him in the end.

Spark

Right? How about this, fancy Mr. Asswater- use the poop towel both for your ass and your face, and report back your findings after 30 days. A “Supersize Me” kind of situation, if you will.

Whats that? My high school self can’t hear you as I count a pocket full 125 singles on a Friday/Saturday/Sunday night.

“There is no fecal matter present”

By your logic, a slice of cheese ceases to be a slice of cheese

“pay to build us a new stadium or we’re moving to LA.”