Alton Brown's Balls
AltonBrownsBalls
6/29/19
12:07 PM
2

In your experience, how do you recommend carrying one’s penis?

11/5/18
9:47 AM
35

The equivalent punting performance would be running on to the field during a Salute to Service break, going full John Wick on a TROOP’s twig’n’berries with your foot, and then kicking the mascot’s head into the crowd where it impales a Make a Wish kid.

8/7/18
2:46 PM
287

Best final stage? American Gladiators (original) or GTFO. Just an endless barrage of semi-fit people getting mutilated by the best of 1980's roid rage.

6/22/18
11:04 PM
3

I think i have the best way of ever learning about Vader:
Watched him first in WWF, i thought he sucked.
Read a whole lot about him with Mick Foley’s book, which made him a really cool guy.
Career resurrection in Japan where they loved him so much they couldn’t wait to give him more titles and amazed me that he was

4/1/18
12:20 AM
39

As a media trade journalist since the late 1980's, I had some exposure to Sinclair Broadcast Group’s Baltimore-based executives — I can just tell you they are some of the most wacked-out, Murdoch-style Far Right monopolists and wingnuts in any American industry sector. David Smith, one of the sons of the founders and

2/26/18
2:13 PM
39

“For real, what a completely worthless bag of shit this President is.”

Man... not cool slandering worthless bags of shit like that...

8/31/16
10:36 AM
221

If a shoe and apparel company wants advertising on the site in association with a viral hoax they can call our sales department.

8/30/16
11:34 AM
59

Yeah, this is idiotic. Everyone knows you can’t get a dick-growing pill from a pediatrician. You get them from ads on PornHub.

6/29/16
10:23 PM
197

To put the$25 per diem into perspective the NCAA allows for a $36 per diem

5/18/16
2:41 PM
1.7K

I’m fine with Bernie staying in the race to accumulate votes and show Democrats that there is broad, national support for a progressive agenda. I am not alright with him staying in the race in a desperate bid to win.

5/11/16
2:20 PM
10

I feel like they’re just trying to undermine all the work I’ve put in.

5/6/16
5:50 PM
2

Based solely on this performance there is a Kerry Wood rookie card included in a time capsule ensconced inside a marble altar in a small Midwestern Catholic Church.

4/1/16
9:29 PM
67

Let he who has never had his car attacked with a golf club by a vengeful lover while whacked out on pain killers and scotch cast the first stone,