[breaks bottle]

I will fight you to the death over the crime you just committed against Star Wars.

Well hey, there's an argument to be made there, based on how you define "great." When I call something great, for example, I'm usually pulling into the evaluation a judgment of historical impact, by which measure, yeah, virtually every Beatles song ever released on an album is greater than anything most modern rock…

I got 58 right, which, eh, whatever, but some of the ones I whiffed on were pretty startling. Rich Gannon! Gus Frerotte! Kyle Orton! Fuck, that dude's still around! Trent Dilfer, Doug Flutie, Jeff Blake!

I'm not saying all of their songs are great (that would be insane). But I am saying that when a band creates as much amazing and diverse and incredibly well-crafted and original music as the Beatles did, anyone whose musical taste isn't utter rubbish will find some stuff to like.

Yeah. If you're crapping on the Beatles, for consistency's sake, you're essentially required to shit on every other rock-and-roll band that has ever existed, because none of their catalogs measure up to the Beatles.

I love this. +1

Believe it or not, Gibbs isn't the only famous member of the Washington Redskins organization with an unusual sexual identity. The old coach is queer for tight ends, and owner Dan Snyder is a proud homo nculus.

That's great.

Those expecting some kind of confessional autobiography will be sorely disappointed. Turns out, Sandusky is working on a specialty cookbook for the preparation of a traditionally underappreciated barnyard meat source: baby goats. Yep, we're talking 250 pages, with glossy high-resolution photographs, of all manner of…

Yes!

Screw you guys!

The wife buzzes it, every month or so. I've pretty much always thought of my hair as a nuisance to be managed. One time I got it done in a fancy salon on the advice of the wife, and it looked pretty good afterward, until like nine minutes later, when I realized that it was only going to look like that for, at most,…

Ha!

I love all of these. And I didn't even go to college.

Ballerino: [plié]

"Dear God, anything but that!"

Well, give the guy some points for originality, at least. Usually when a USC Trojan explains why he's not voting, it comes with a whole friggin' doctoral dissertation about why "the 'age of consent' is a bunch of bullshit, bro," and, "I was just as drunk and she was," and, "Fuck, how was I supposed to know she didn't…

Ah, OK. So it was a leading question based on a false premise, then.