That's a silly, loaded question. When have you ever been given any indication that we take anything seriously?

When you're out there doing your routine in your fanciful swimgear getup, where you you keep your shiv? I hear the piranhas in those pools can get pretty ornery.

That is glorious and horrible. +1

When you're not combating the resistance of water, can you make a sonic boom by wiggling your feet? Or, how about cricket sounds? Can you post an .mp3 of the cricket sounds you can make with your feet?

How long can you tread rendered pork fat?

+1

There's another one! Christa Miller, who played George's girlfriend Paula in "The Doodle" ("You could drape yourself in velvet...") earlier played Ellen, the executive lady at the bra sales interview in "The Sniffing Accountant" who loses her shit when George touches her fabric (and demands that either he or Farkus…

Wonderful. +1

With all due respect to the various critics of this misbegotten initiative, I think you're all overlooking the real problem here, which I have helpfully elucidated with the following screenplay:

I disagree. Not with whether that's an unwritten rule of the Olympics, but with whether an athlete "should" obey it. If Tyson Gay wants to avoid the limelight, that's great for him. If Lolo Jones wants to talk herself up, I might find it tacky, but it's her business. It doesn't make her any faster or slower,…

Well, pointing out the media's role in all of this is legitimate media criticism in Deadspin's case because you guys aren't - have never been, in this case or any other I can think of - complicit in writing the canned narrative in the first place. But the mainstream media's (in this case, NBC's) inevitable…

It's a completely media-driven narrative. They ham-handedly drove all the attention and focus toward Lolo Jones and her story, putting her fellow athletes in the position of having to spend what's likely the pinnacle of their athletic careers answering questions about some third party with a well-known off-the-track…

Word is, Jay Cutler's personal trainers have been pressed into service to aid Ms. Cavallari in her recovery from the delivery, based on their extensive prior experience dealing with tender pussies.

That's good.

I enjoyed this. +1

So, I'm no expert on Olympic diving or anything... would you say that he pulled a boner?

That's really good. +1

I think he meant, "Here is a comical exaggeration based on well-worn stereotypes of the differences between gay and straight people."

Predictably in the climate of nationalistic pride which attends the Olympic Games, news of Liu's failure has hit his fellow Chinese athletes hard. "We had such high hopes in Liu," said diving gold medalist Wu Minxia, "and now they are dashed"; 20km walking gold medallist Chen Ding expressed his "deep sorrow and…

I can't put my finger on exactly why, but the image of a dude cutting a fucking pizza with a pair of fucking scissors like it's a sheet of goddamn paper is absolutely murdering me. I mean I am crying.