You’ve never watched Fox and Friends before have you? Or talked to people who take it seriously? So yeah, this is only 1/2 as stupid as the people who WATCH the show.

This is the first Jalopnik headline in a while where I started laughing before even reading a word of the article.

I understand your comment, but you’re going to have to explain what ‘reverse-racism’ is.

Reverse racism doesn't exist

Meanwhile, on every street in Europe:

My personal best stands at 35 years, 3 months, 4 days. And counting.

This is beautiful.

Wait until you meet the person running it.

“Love dipping our #crap in our other #shit?”—Yes, godammit, I do. Specifically, I love dipping the angus three cheese and bacon in their horsey sauce (which I also like dipping their curly fries in, because horsey sauce is not just “#shit” it is THE SHIT). I’m disgusting.

That Outback one still cracks me up.

Omg it’s not food related, but my favourite Nihilist Twitter person is KimKierkegaardashian. @KimKierkegaard :

"Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos."

Arbys: die full.

They always remind me of the fake commercials from Welcome to Night Vale. They’re so perfect in their cold, absurdest nihilism.

“He went to Jared!!” - Now their jingle is annoying. $5 footlong was the best jiggle since the bologna jingle.

EVERY KISS BEGINS WITH KAY.

Leslie, can we all just agree that even though ‘the government regulating stuff is bad’ blah blah blah, can we please get some fucking clarification and some rules on what you can call ‘Fresh’...and ‘Artisan’...and ‘From Scratch’ ?

When McDonald’s started the commercials for their new ‘Artisan Chicken’ I about lost my…

Be Ben Stein's Honey!

When is it wrong to hug people?