Look, if you want to see a bunch of privileged New Yorkers on their cycles smashing into each other, face to ass, in a clumsy pile, just visit a Barnard College dorm on Friday night.

Delete your account, Pat.

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Why are we surprised that cyclepaths are killing people? That’s what they do. Haven’t you watched any of those Hannibal shows?

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I've been getting fucked by spending too much time on Gawker blogs, so I can tell you, Barry is right.

Emma and AJ already spent two years ruining Deadspin, so I'm not sure how she thinks ruining for one more day is going to matter.

Look, making baseball fun is a good thing. But it’s equally important to remember that it is the sport with richest history of any that we play in the United States. There are certainly changes to the way the game has been played in different eras, however, there are also certain constants. One of those is having a…

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Fuck Jessica Lowndes, Marry Jon Lovitz, Kill Bobby Finger.

If taking 13 shots while reliving past highlights is fodder for a blog post, then boy does Vin Baker have a pitch for you.

Not to mention that they’re wrong. We all know the greasy, Parmesan cheese eating, future Pope-loving, Roman Italians did it.

(Extremely J. Jonah Jameson voice): This “journalist” isn’t able to get up, slam a couple of mini-thins, chug a pot of Maxwell House, and get his shit together after a late night? What the hell kind of shop are you running out there Marchman?

First you shoot a guy with a heart-shaped arrow, then you arrest him for unchecked sexual aggression? CUPD is such a little jerk.

You think that’s impressive job of carrying a student-athlete, you should see the academic support staff at Kentucky when final papers are due.

As an Indianapolis resident, I can report that there are quite a few big dicks flopping around town right now. (Walks past Peter King and Mike Florio waiting in line for brunch.)

That was the make-up tech, and she and JWill have clearly smashed.

(Runs in breathing heavy and chewing on Mancunian coal) GUYS GUYS GUYS!

Doctor: Blake, how’d this happen?

You guys, this is stupid. There’s video of him dunking.