+1

Acey on All Balls and Book of Human Language is pretty fucking sick. But yeah, anybody who has wants shit that is still next level, 20 years later, Innercity Griots is the best.

The pitcher keeps the ball and moseys over then chases down the runner.

+1

"I don't care how good he is, he's not coming anywhere near my face until the blades are actually in his hand."

Iran has no official policy on sex, but they have asked that their hotel rooms be decorated in heavy black curtains with small rectangles cut out near the top.

+1

The folks over at WashIt Yourself have been getting all the spillover customers from Asstime after the storm ruined their sign, too.

Sterling V. Silver will, without a doubt, be the most disgusting MMF video ever made.

In other news, a bowl of cold oatmeal with no raisins and you bet your ass absolutely no brown sugar did an uncanny impression of Brian McCann

Electrician: We've got a massive tower here that seems to be out of commission. Just giving it a cursory glance, two legs appear to be bad even though somebody attempted repair at some point. The third leg is carrying a whole lot of juice and is, frankly, kinda scary.

Hideki Matsui: (Turns on TV.)
(Looks in cabinet.)
(Selects VHS tape labeled, "Reverse Toledo Fishbowl.")
(Prepares warm towel.)
(Checks Deadspin as tape rewinds.)
(Reads headline.)
…

An overzealous white woman desperate for a short, stretching herself to the breaking point with two black fellows, only to realize too late that she has neither the stamina or physical capacity to keep up with one, much less both, of them?

The only anti Donald Sterling trusts is Anti Delores, the Jamaican woman who irons his unmentionables, and even she's been acting shifty lately.

+1

The Pepper Spray Empire will be the most valuable real estate in the world as soon as Walken and Hackman drop nukes on the fault line.

This represents the only situation ever where John Kruk would be 50% harder to tag out than Miggy.

+1

The three wired sisters. They all had microphones.