Nah, old Daario got a job as the young Transporter.

I don't think this headline is correct. As far as I know, none of them live in New Jersey.

+1

yelling and banging on Knoblauch's hotel room door to make sure he was there.

Usually when Paul George gets tricked into taking a shot it's a ten incher.

Pat has always used a pair of Vans. After all, if you always use the same nondescript white van eventually someone is going to recognize it.

Long ago we used these just for jokes, but your first sentence is impeccably crafted. Seriously well composed. +1

Meanwhile Zenith Thorpe is getting really bored with this chick in a turtleneck and a floor length denim skirt sitting quietly next to him.

+1

Irsay: Z...I-N-G.

Let's make flowers.

Who is the unseen spaghetti-wrangler presenting the gob of spaghetti that Tommy Lasorda is about to sex?

"Are you kidding? Of course I have my Stadium Pal on. And of course you're gonna help me take it off later. That rubber cement doesn't remove itself."

"If you can feel what I'm feeling then it's a musical masterpiece," Adam Yauch rapped. While it might sound benign, we don't think we want to feel what a tumor in the salivary gland feels like, Mr. MCA.

"Sit and drink Pennyroyal Tea," may seem like a strange admonition coming from a suicidal rock singer like Kurt Cobain, but not if you know that Pennyroyal tea is actually just a mix of anti-freeze and bleach, you self-satisfied, suburban cancer.

He's younger than me you callous knave. I'd still smoke you on the concrete, Jimmy Choo.

His body? Temple? More like St. Peter's Basilica.

Michael Vick: Great Dane versus a WOLF? (Gets flop sweats)(Calls sponsor.) Yeah, Bill? It's Mike. I've got to get to a meeting ASAP.

Also, if it doesn't take you an hour to clean two dozen of them you're not cleaning them well enough.

Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Sanin. Your sad devotion to that weekend column has not helped you conjure up the stolen kinja updates, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the magical Foodspin live shots…