Burneko will force choke you for this one, Admiral Motti.

I love some obscure craft beer, but if I only could drink one beer for the rest of my life, it would be GB Nordeast.

Pulling out your pale yellow snake and pranking people in cabs is so earlier this morning.

Seriously? Because Ace of Base made like a jillion bucks from theirs.

+1

"Shitty at one end, unceremoniously throwing something up at the other. I love it! Okay, now do the Western Conference."

Runaway stroller? Robinson Cano wasn't anywhere near this game.

After dropping four in row, I can somehow envision scenarios where the Pacers lose to everyone in the East come playoff time. Noah and Al Jefferson are both nightmares I never imagined having. Stupid sports.

The way the Pacers are playing right now, I am terrified by both Chicago and Toronto in the second round. What are the odds that Washington can go ahead and beat one of those guys for us in the first round?

+1

For all you DUANers who need some new old shit.

+1

Every major sporting franchise in the nation has received some level of municipal funding. They are all propped up by Joe Sixpack and the corporate kleptocracy. They all deserve to die.

Behold, the dick-and-balls vanilla wifer.

"A heavy, solid Pole taking down a formidable curtain? It's time to get rid of Lech Walesa, once and for all."

+1

"Coach, that ain't me." (Points at Sphincterorifice Chatkevicius.)

Player: Hey, you, with the glasses, have you seen "Study" Hall?

Voiceover: (Somber music plays as a basketball falls through the hoop in slow-motion.) SMDH is an affliction that can strike anywhere, at any time. The mission of the Carmelo Anthony Foundation is to eradicate SMDH in all communities.

+1