+1 This is so good.

TMZ - Sports without Access, Favor, Discretion, or Knuckles.

Like a true Gilmore girl, Sydney then spent the next hour talking incessantly about pancakes and hamburgers and motherfucking Yale. God, can we just be silent for like 30 seconds, please?

Majoring in Journalism, eh? Well, then he's dumber than I thought.

I like that he's getting a jump-start on his post-basketball career, since most athletes end up as broke dicks afterwards.

I'll presume that when Zeller says everyone in the NCAA goes on about their business, the day ends with a huge pile of human feces and urine in the middle of a bunch of office cubicles. But I'm not good with legalese.

According to his UNC CV, he also wrote a paper on the transformative hermeneutics of quantum gravity that will blow your mind.

+1

You can't blame Manu's shoes for being caught off guard, they always just assume he's going to take a few extra steps.

+1

ABC's syntax is a little insensitive and creepy. Erin Andrews needs a young male following her like she needs a hole in the hotel wall.

Dwight Howard got burnt between the legs? Not surprised. Them side chicks have no chill.

+1

"Aware of the situation? And I thought I was a neutral, weakly interacting, elementary, sub-atomic particle."

Pictured: Feat of Klay; Feet of Clay.

Canadian Health Minister: Sir, our budget for public service announcements is shot! How will we tell the youth it's bad to get fat, drink to excess, discuss one's wife's genitalia in public without seeking their consent, do crack and slam one's genitals into plumbing fixtures?

Reuben,

"4.47? Let's hang out."

Wearing white after Labor Day? [NO]

Actually the worst Anthem Rendition of all time was an interrogation technique used by the CIA. They would capture suspected Al Qaeda operatives and force them to call health insurance providers to dispute a billing statement. None of the captives survived it.